Bad At Eve: Burn Jita

As I'm writing this, Burn Jita is in full effect and deep into it's third day.  It's been a fantastic experience which has been noted by gaming media [Euro Gamer|PCGamer], global media and all the savvy Eve Online players that take the time to pay attention to the meta game.  I mention that because even with podcast coverage, forum tears and a splash screen courtesy of CCP Games; people are still getting space murdered by the hundreds in a variety of expensive ships.

Seriously.  What the hell people? It's called "Awareness."

Now it's no secret that I enjoy a good gank.  I was a negative -10 and earlier this morning I manage to take my almost -6 back to a -8.8.  None of my kills were fantastically expensive or anything like that.  In fact most of my ganking attempts were pretty botched.  I could go on an on about all the external reasons why my ganks went to badly, but let's face it.  I'm just bad at Eve.

Above is a little video I made.  I've gotten in to the whole FRAPSing thing and I managed to remember to turn it on during one of my ganks.  For this particular fleet the FC was pmchem of Goonswarm.  In praise of pmchem; he was one of the few FCs mindful enough to incorporate tactics to allow pilots with already piss poor sec status to participate.  I'm thankful for that as I had been searching for a fleet since Thursday and was starting to get pretty pissed off about not finding one.

So let's take a look at this video.  Due to sizing I had to cut out the fit, but it was nothing more than a standard thrasher gank fit.  7 artys in the tops, 2 seeboos in the mids and 2 gyro's in the lows.  Pretty standard with faction ammo.  Some prefer fusion and others plasma.  Really it all depends on how close your warp in can get to the target.

The first thing you'll probably notice about the video is the opening warp.  I'm sideways.  It's a glitch, but it's a cool glitch.  It can most likely be chalked up to the local cap of 2200+/- and the 50% TiDi going on, both of which are clear in the video.

Now as I warp in, the intended target is already getting blown to smithereens.  Our fleet was mixed with positive and negative sec status pilots.  When the FC would call for the warp in, those with poor sec status would have to warp to an instant undock and then warp to the target while those with better sec status were able to warp directly.  This caused some of us to "show up late" and ultimately loose out on kills.  Couple that with the delightful "Are you sure? Please click yes/no" box (OMG can't wait for crimewatch safety trigger) and I missed the kill.  Pretty crappy, but dammit I will not be denied!

This is where the panic sets in.  Concord is after me.  Faction police are after me.  Other pilots are after me. If I'm going to kill something, I need to be decisive and kill something quick.  I take my chances, click on a bunch of random things, hot lock my grouped guns and hope for the best.  The best was a shuttle.  I'm not thrilled, but dammit it's something!

End of story; my ship explodes and I get my pod the hell out of dodge.  Not the best gank of Burn Jita, but it's my gank.

Shuttle Kill Mail: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13206718
My Loss Mail: http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=13206717

Credits:
Opening Image: Sayyadinda Drain of MRCHI
Music: Lies by Big C TV
Terrible Piloting: Me

Flying With Friends I

Null sec malaise has found me again. While I deeply enjoy null sec and I’m probably not going to leave any time soon, sometimes I just need a break from it. When I feel the malaise coming one of two things will happen. Either I’ll go off and play some other fun game for a while or find some friends who are doing something different in game. Last night I did the latter.

One of my new co-hosts, Marc Scaurus of the Tuskers, and his former Ransoms And Roams co-host, Professor Terror of Sinner., took me out for some low sec shenanigans. Our visible fleet composition consisted of two drakes and a talos. Thanks to the wonders of dual boxing we also had a scout and some secret sauce to add some flavor to the night.

The night was pretty quiet according to Marc and Terror and I’m inclined to agree with them on this one. There just wasn’t much legit activity going on in the surrounding areas. We didn’t come across any real roaming fleets or gate camps. Still there was a little bit of action to be had.

My first encounter in the area was with a Incursus off the station that my loaner drake had been deposited in. This would also be my first mistake of the night. Not thinking, I undocked without loading ammo into my guns while in station. When I undocked, the Incursus yellow boxed me as soon as they could in an attempt to bait me into agressing them. When I tried to shoot them... I couldn’t. I couldn’t shoot them because the person that loaned me the drake put Heavy Assault Missiles in the cargo hold instead of Heavy Missiles.... Marc. So unable to shoot, I simply docked back up. Professor Terror did manage to swoop in and make short work of him while I searched for ammo.

My second encounter of the evening was with a gnat of a Jaguar pilot. That’s exactly how he flew, like a gnat. In range for a couple of seconds and as soon as you line up a good hit, he’s off 70K away. We screwed around with him for a little bit, but then the guy that was in the Incursus was back and this time he was in a Iskur! I’m not sure what he was thinking.

While we did end up with the killmail, the fight went on a bit longer than I would have imagined. The three of us shot at him for a good minute and a half or so. I think someone might have been splitting DPS on the Jaguar. Plus we were on a gate, so our drones were dropping pretty fast. I wish I had fraps going because I would have loved to see his transversal.

After that, we did a bit more roaming around trying to find something else to kill. We popped over next door to get more drones and while we were waiting on a gate, an auto piloting Iteron appeared. Marc is so busy on his scout he didn’t even notice. I end up getting the ship webbed and scrammed before I get on comms and alert him there is an industrial ship to shoot.

Obviously the guy is afk. We get his pod and we attempt to hold it for ransom. I open the convo, but when I do Marc tells me the Jaguar is coming back and to just pop the pod. We pop the pod and go chasing after this Jaguar, again. About 10 minutes later, I get a standings notification with this little gem:

Wolf Aus has set their standing to terrible towards you.
nice one slut nice bounty for you and your fagot munching wanker

I have never laughed so hard in my life. I’m not sure why he was so angry. He didn’t have any cargo worth anything. He didn’t have implants in. Plus, if he’s baller enough to go through low sec on auto pilot in...an... iteron... well then you get what you get, Sir. You may suck it. Maybe he had come a bunch of jumps and I sent him back to his starting point. Ouch.

Something surprisingly fun happened. Marc decided to do a little experiment and started tweeting about he , Terror and I roaming around Mara. A few minutes later tweetfleeter @Zievarrenna shows up in local. He’s in a Merlin and Marc asks if he wants to 1v1. So Marc gets a rifter together to 1v1 and I jump in to a reaper to watch. I got it all on fraps, but TL;DR Marc wins. As fun as that was, it wasn’t the best part of the night.

The best part of the night was a fight that resulted in no kill mails. Marc found what was obviously a bait drake in one of the systems. By this time the fleet comp changed to a Drake, Tornado & Talon. He scouted out the rest of the fleet which appeared to be a hurricane and a falcon. We weighted the odds and figured that with out DPS we should be able to get the drake down provided we followed the game plan.

We were going to rush the drake and get him down. As soon as we were locked and shooting the drake we would release drones, but not aggress them to the drake. Instead we were going to wait to the falcon warped in and have the drone aggress that ship since the falcon was going to jam us all out and drones will continue to attack even if you’re jammed.

So everything is going according to plan. We’re pounding this drake down. The DPS is so good that he’s bleeding structure when the hurricane land and he’s half way in to structure by the time the falcon lands. Then something both amazing and horrifying happened. All three of us lost point. The Falcon was able to jam out all three us enough long enough for the drake to warp out. We were in three different races of ship and the falcon was able to reset the entire board. On top of that, an orcale dropped in which was the worst thing that could happen so an emergency GTFO was called.

Evening writing this I get that excited feeling or “pvp rush.” It was just fun. There was no kill mail, but hell yea that was a good fight. We “gf-ed” and all that in local and the drake pilot apparently pooped a little. It was hands down the highlight of the evening.

I think I might stay out in low sec for the rest of the week. It’s a different kind of atmosphere. A different kind of pvp. Plus if a couple of listeners or tweetfleeters come down to play, it would be really cool. Apparently Kirith Kodachi wants to shoot at me. It was nice surprise to have @Zievarrenna come down. Apparently there are others in RvB that want to come play. Party in Mara!

Ciao
Dani♥

I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fifty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

Welcome to the final (maybe) edition of the AFK Cloaker series.  In the first blog post I did a smallintroduction to the phenomenon of AFK Cloakers.  In the second blog post I discussed types of AFK Cloakers and their “methods of operation.”  In this third blog I will cover ways to protect yourself against AFK Clokers and things to keep in mind when you’re out in Null Sec.

As always, I’ll insert my little disclaimer that I am not the end all, be all of this subject.   I do hope to give some sage advice as well as highlight some points of common sense.  Hopefully after reading the article you will feel a little more enlightened and embowered to venture out… and not loose your ass while doing it.

Vigilance is Your Friend.

Like many things, the best person to count on is yourself.  Then again, sometimes we are our own greatest enemy when it comes to protecting our assets.  Complacency and over confidence play a major part in players getting caught by AFK Cloakers.  The sad reality is that these losses are completely avoidable.  Keep your eyes and ears open and stay aware of your surroundings.  Don’t get lazy or fall in to patterns no matter how safe you feel.  These are the kind of behaviors that AFK Clokers look for and seize opportunity on.  Don’t let yourself become a kill board statistic. 

Use the Tools Available to You.

As a former alliance leader and a current member of a Null Sec alliance, I hear the same complaints all the times.  “Another in-game/ts/mumble/etc channel?  Don’t we have enough yet?”  Yes I understand that having 5 in-game intel channels, 2 TS3’s, 1 mumble, 4 Jabbers, 2 IRCs and a pigeon coup for messenger birds can be incredibly annoying, but… these tools will save your ship, your pod and your ego.  Not only do they offer you intel of surroundings areas as well as your immediate local, but they are also a venue you for you report intel and scream like a nub when you get tackled by an AFK Cloaker.  Vast communication options can be obnoxious, but they are essential to survival.

Here a Scout, There a Scout.

If you have a second account (or third, fourth, fifth) then there is no reason for you not to have a scout.  Scouts are one of the biggest life savers in EVE Online and soooo many people do not use them.  Blind jumping is the most terrible, stupid, brain thing you could ever do.  If you ever have the inclination to blind jump, just send me a convo and I’ll come blow you up myself with the added bonus of me stealing your crap and then mocking you while posting my Hello Kitty ACSII image in local.  Of course there are some situations where all you can do is blind jump… like not having any alts. 

If you do not have an alt, never fear.  There is a second option for you.  Make friends!  3 of 4 EVE Online players have alts.  If you’re nice to your corp and alliance mates, they might be nice enough to do some scouting for you.  Hell, they might even let you know some secret uber pocket where they’re stashed off and already have an alt.  Not being a douche to the people you fly with does have it’s advantages.

Location, Location, Location.

Where you choose to do your operations can either be a blessing or a curse.  Use tools like Dot Lan to find areas of operation that work for you.  I would recommend using the following guidelines:

• Stay near or in friendly space
• Find a single piped pocket where you can easily place a scout
• Avoid systems that connect constellations and regions
• Find systems that have low jump count and rat kills within a 24 hour period
• Avoid staging systems

That’s all I have for you at the moment New Eden.  I hope these few tips and things to remember will help you see a little less red on your killboard.  As an added bonus, a few weeks (maybe months) a go, I did an EVE Online: Question of the Day on Twitter.  The question was:

@Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

Needless to say I got some interesting responses.  So to close out this post, I’m going to leave with you some final thoughts gained from the combined wisdom and trolling of #TweetFleet

@ibrahas
@Arydanika As often as not I am the AFK cloaker. It is passive tear extraction. I smile at work knowing someone is crying at my afk alt.

@stevietopsiders
@Arydanika BattleRorq minmatar.co.uk/killboard/?a=k… #tweetfleet

@SharksInSpace
@Arydanika: Skiff with a point and friends. Transport ships (like the Mastadon) can also work for this bait. #tweetfleet #eveonline

@Ikeo58
@BuckyOhair @arydanika pt a drag bubble up 150 away from what your doing and carry on as normal or afk cloaky falcon #tweetfleet

@Khanhrhh
@Arydanika after living in WH space for a few months, you realise how pathetic AFK cloaker whine is and move on #tweetfleet

@BuckyOhair
I am the AFK cloaker MUHAHAHA RT @Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

@bel_amar
@Arydanika I live in a WH. I find complaints about AFK cloakers amusing. It's like people complaining that EVE is too hard for them #EOQoTD

@eclipticrift
@bel_amar @Arydanika I learned to abuse D-scan living in W-space. So until I see probes, I don't worry about them.

@rulesaremyenemy
@Arydanika Use killboards to find his active times and what he brings to the party (cyno bridging/cap drops), then set up a trap.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

That Old Flame

For the past few months I've found myself in this toxic mix of a "rut" and a "funk" when it comes to EVE Online.  I think the catalyst was the act of me getting hung up on my corp joining Brick Squad.  It tainted my game play experience so much that I stopped enjoying my game play experience.  After a few weeks of being bummed and moping about it; I came to a simple conclusion. 

I was being Stupid.

My eyes narrow slightly at my computer screen as I read those words, but yea.  I was being stupid.  I really enjoy playing EVE Online.  I really enjoy my corp and my corp mates.  I really enjoy PvP.  Who the fuck are they to taint that for me?  No.  Screw that noise.   

As soon as I said that to myself the most wonderful thing happened.  It was unexpected and even a little shocking.  It's also the most logical progression events and a welcome relief.  That's right folks.  When I let it go, I started having a good time again.  Who would have thought?

The catalyst for this "Letting It Go" was going back to the very thing that lured me in to EVE Online in the first place.  The ships!  I remember the first ship I ever saw.  It was a Daredevil.  If the sleek and sexy body style wasn't enough, the thing is a speed demon on top of it.  I was absolutely enchanted by it and my friend had been using them a lot as a low sec pirate so he did an excellent job of selling me on all it's stats.

That ship put some kind of spell on me.  It's supple curves accented with the dangerous tips of its wings sparks a visual pleasure for me.  There's an edge about that ship.  The design alone makes the resounding  statement of; I will fuck your shit up.  When I saw that ship I knew I had to fly it.  I knew it would be something that would eventually be in my collection.  That hasn't quiet happened yet due to be being forever broke, but... one day.  That's how it all started though and that's where I went to rekindle that spark.

Recently I've gone from not being able to fly jack shit, to being able to fly more ships than I know what to do with.  I should note that when I say "I can fly" I mean with proper fits as well.  So I decided to do a little window shopping on EVE MON with my fitting room on EFT soon to overflow.  I spent time looking at Lokis Rapiers, Scimitars, Munins and Vagabonds. Rapiers got the most attention tonight since my mates were discussing fits in corp chat.  I was shocked that I was able to fly it and immediately started asking questions.

I wanted to know everything about this ship and I'm lucky that I have corp mates that are experienced and that want to see my succeed in PvP.  I'm pretty sure most would be quick to call my questions out as being noobish, but I am a noob.  I asked about price, fits, if being able to fit a covert cyno was really necessary, how does it compare with the Huginn and its missile bonus' etc, etc.  That lead to Kenndo asking me if I was coming or not. 

That's something about Wrecking Shots that I really love.  There usually something going on most nights.  If it's not an Alliance Op, we're going a corp op or a roam.  Then of course, some nights are "Bear Nights" as we call them as everyone needs to make their ISK.  Tonight was no exception and off we went towards a pipe leading to the Y-2ANO area looking for a little bit of fun.

Tonight we were doing new style of tactic.  The idea is internet spaceships, but Guerilla Warfare Style.  Nanos and Cloaks create a dangerous combination for stragglers that aren't on their toes and plenty of killmails for me.   After one night, I'm still fairly new with the method of operation and my dictor performance was mediocre at best.  I made a couple of big mistakes, but the FC was cool about it.  This particular FC is great like that and I've always enjoyed his fleets and learned a lot from them.  I'm sold on the new tactic and I can't wait to get back out there again.

I ended the night with four solid kills and there were six for the entire night.  It's not much, but it's not bad for two hours of camping.  We only had one loss and that was to Incursion rats, ugh.  More importantly, I think I found my flame again.

Blog Banter: Competition Arenas

This blog was written in response to the Freebooted blog post Blog Banter: EVE Quick Matches. The topic grabbed me as soon as I read it. No seriously. I was in the middle of editing and interview for the podcast, saw the link come up on tweetdeck, read it and then started writing. I don't know what it is, I guess Seismic stan just has that kind of effect on me. So... anyway... On to the blogging!

EVE Quick Matches

Kirith Kodachi recently discussed the idea of what a World of Tanks style quick-match element would bring to EVE Online. Would the opportunity for a quick combat interest you? How could it be implemented? Could it be done without having a negative impact on existing gameplay elements? Or does such a concept have no place in EVE?

It's an average night and there's not much going on. Things on the corp and alliance front are quiet for whatever reason, but you're in the mood for some action. You could go roam solo, but who wants to go roaming for hours on end only to come up empty handed? Maybe you go join a gate camp and do the auto-pilot pop polka with whatever unwitting fool crosses your path. While those are all things we absolutely love about PvP in EVE Online, there could be a better option for those looking for a quick fix.

I propose the idea of competition arenas around New Eden to provide instanced PvP. Humans and Capsuleers are creatures of conquest and blood lust. Competition Arenas are a common thread that strings across our history, present, fiction and will continue to be a staple of our existence into the future. Even if we don't participate in it, we at least enjoy watching it. Look at the population of Null Sec and the sheer number of PvP videos that are on eveisreal.net and youtube.com. It's a fact that can not be denied. So why not capitalize it and make it in to enjoy content?

Like this, but with spaceships!

The Main Idea

Competition Arenas would be introduced into the game as a way to provide players with quick, easily accessible PvP. Pilots can create or find 1v1 duel with a variety of hull classes. There is some regulation, but due to the nature of low sec, the element of danger should be elevated. There would also be the chance for player designed services as well as positive side effects for other elements in the game. The design I propose would increase traffic in low sec, provide isk sinks and draw on currently existing game elements.

Location

The competition arenas are a place capsuleers from all over can come and display their prowess of destruction. Most "normals" of the various faction might find this practice a little barbaric. However, when you're an immortal, your perspective of barbaric tends to be a little different. Because of this the practice wouldn't be easily accepted in high sec. Low sec on the other hand is perfect for an entertainment complex of this nature. The factions are there to ensure their cut of the action, but the brutality is of all is just far enough away to keep everyone happy.

How it works

The first stop would be to the station where players could access the arena search panel. From there pilots can review matches already posted or create their own posting. Posting a match would have an associated cost for rental fees and other costs. The posting will be for a 1v1 match and have an option of being public or private as well as the option of hull class. The panel would feature a search function for public matches along with an invite function when a pilot has posted a private duel. If a pilot selects a duel to join, the pilot that created the duel will have an opportunity to mutually accept. Once the pilots are locked in to the match a bookmark for an arena location will be uploaded to their neocom and their off.

Once through the gate, the two would land 200km from a beacon. At that point they can warp in at range and go about the happy business of trying to blow the hull off the other. The gate would only allow that ship class selected for the match (frigate, destroyer, cruiser, battlecruiser or battleship). There should most like be a type of restriction to keep everything T1. I'm not sure if there's coding for that and I'm really not sure if something like that could be feasible.

Keeping It Clean

Of course there will be some need for rules and regulations for things to run smoothly. As mentioned before I think the sites would work best if they were not able to be scanned down. On the flip side, it could be an interesting element especially with the arenas being a low sec feature. Faction police can be spawned at the acceleration gate so others can have a chance at kill you first, but they loose faction standings and other typical space punishments for attempting. Faction police can spawned inside the arena to punish podding. Yes I do believe your opponent should have the ability to be a dick and pod you, they'd just get the usual consequences for it. It is EVE Online Low Sec after all.

Side Effects

The addition of such content can have some positive side effects as well. Low sec traffic and population would experience a boost. The markets would end up seeing additional activity due to the nature of the content. The arena also provides the game with a new ISK sink. As a tie in with player establishments, null sec only franchises could be operated. They would be expensive to maintain leaving the owner with a small profit and of course, no faction police to regulate. Only systems with stations would be able to have arenas due to the need for office and other conveniences, so wormholes would be left out much like high sec.

The ISK Line: Sinks, New Markets and maybe some gambling.

Rankings

There could even be the possibility of a ranking system associated with this. If the arena kill mails were given a specific type of tag, they could be separated from other kill mails to be funneled in to a secondary "Arena Killboard." There could be arena displays much like eve-kill.net and it's Top 20 lists. It would also allow corps and alliances to have their own Arena Killboards. The rankings would be player development dependant. It's unfortunate, but since there is no CCP maintained killboard, I'm not sure how they could do it. And if they did it.. they might as well make a CCP maintained killboard. Such a thing would be a great asset to the game. For now we're lucky to have eve-kill.net and the other programmers out there.

Rough Draft

It's a pretty rough idea and I'm sure there's a lot of holes it in. If some poor EVE Dev comes across this post, I really hope they don't have an aneurism from what I'm proposing. I do think that the idea of competition arenas would be a great addition of content for the game. It would soothe irritation of "I want pvp nao" and give low sec a bit of a jolt as well. The concept also fits in well with the lore and the style of the game.

Hopefully this banter will be one of many that join this discussion. I've enjoyed reading the blogs of those that have already posted and I hope that others will join us in this discussion.

Further Reading
The following blogs have already touched upon the subject and might give you something to chew over. Come banter with us.

• Kirith Kodachi @ Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, World of Tanks - Lessons to be Learned
• Seismic Stan @ Freebooted, Suddenly Combat: World of Spaceships
• Arydanika @ And Knowing is Half the Battle, Blog Banter: Competition Arenas
• Harrigan Vonstudly @ Gun Turret Diplomacy, Blog Banter: Quick Matches. Eveharmony?
• Drackarn @ Sand,Cider and Spaceships, Eve Blog Banter - Quick Matches
• Mike Azariah @ A Missioner In Eve, Blog Banter: Pinks
• Ender Black @ Pod Goo, Blog Banter: Quick Matches 
• Noise @ The Phoenix Diaries, Arena PvP 
• Rhavas @ Interstellar Privateer, NECL Season One
• Gul'Gotha @ Hero Tackle, Blog Banter EVE Quick Matches
• KuroMayuri @ KuroMayuri, Blog Banter: EVE Quick Matches
• Rixx Javix @ Eveoganda, Blog Banter: Arena Combat
• PyroTech03 @ Wandering the Void, Blog Banter: Arena Combat, and Playing Devil's Advocate
• Toterra @ Scram Web, Blog Banter: Arena  
• Mabrick @ Mabricks Mumblings: Chivalry, not cage fights.

WSHOT Prayer

The following video is a collaboration of sorts.  A while ago one of my corps mates, Esqui, sent me a little something called the "Wrecking Shots Prayer."  Soon after writing it, he sent it to me and asked me to do an audio for it.  I did, but it seemed flat when I listened to it.  That's when the real work began.

I came up with the idea of doing a video for the prayer.  There were two obstacles though.  First, I have a terrible video card so the fraps I take comes out very low quality.  Second, I'm not that good with Sony Vegas and only knew a few tricks.  In my usual way, I found a way around all that.

You Tube has become a saving grace when it comes to EVE Online.  Some of the best tutorials for the game are on You Tube.  I found this to the same for Sony Vegas and also for obtaining great footage.  I learned a few new tricks from the tutorials, but my You Tube loitering didn't stop there.  For inspiration I started watching the trailers.

That's when it hit me.  Why do I need to fraps new stuff, when there's great video footage already out there.  As I watched the EVE Online trailers, I realized there were scenes that went perfectly with the prayer.  Though CCP Game's use policy I was able to borrow those scene.  As for the actual fraps footage, that I knicked from a fellow corp mate Black Jesus.  He has a fraps FTP dump for the corp.

Then there's the music.  For that I have to give thanks to MadeLoud.com and Exordium Project.  MadeLoud.com is a royalty free music site where budding artists can publish there work and offer it for free or paid downloads.  Sometimes you have to sift though a lot of "interesting" works, but you do come across some gold.  Thought chance I found the track "Black Apocalypse" by Exordium Project.  It was a good song, but not what I was looking for.  I went to their page and there was only songs.  The moment I heard " Demon Music Box" it all came together for me.

I should also mention that the Thrasher footage is a High Sec Hulk gank that the corp did a little while ago in the Placid Region.  Those ganks have been a lot of fun (for us of course, not the Hulk pilots).  It was also Black Jesus' first hulk gank.  


Enjoy!

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

In a previous blog, The Little Noctis That Could, I touched on the subject of AFK Cloakers.  This is a subject that is every pilot in Null Sec is familiar with in one way or another.  Any pilot that has been in a particular area of space for any extended period time has been on the receiving end of the services of an AFK Cloaker.  Most experienced pilots with an alt, and even some without, have had the pleasure of being on the giving end. 

In this particular installment of the I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fitty Series, I’m going to discuss AFK Cloakers, Methods of Operation and Solutions which will be presenting in three different blog posts.  I might even throw in some more stories if I catch wind of something interesting.  Now this isn’t suppose to be an end all be all definitive report.  I’m not anyway near BOV status to rightful write those.  However, this blog will be an overview on the topic, a collection of my thoughts on the subject and should anyone leave comment it might even turn into a discussion.  Now before we get in to the heavy stuff, I’d like to lead off with a little humor.

AFK Cloakers are Literally The Herps

No.  I really mean it.  Follow me here.  One day you're minding your own business say scanning down sigs, mining or whatever gets you off.  You're having a good time and everything is going well.  Then all of a sudden, out from nowhere, they appear in local.  You don’t know where they came from.  You don't know how they got there.  To top it all off, it doesn't look like they're leaving and you’re stuck dealing with something you didn’t want in the first place. 

So you go back to your pals.  You ask a couple of hypotheticals.  They respond with how they really aren't qualified to answer, but personally they wouldn't screw around with that sort of thing.  Push comes to shove and you decided to wait it out a little bit putting you in a very comfortable situation. 

Then all of a sudden one day they're gone; poof just like it's freaking magic.  You figure you're in the clear and go back to doing what it you usually do.  Everyone’s having a good time again.  Everything's going well and you're enjoying yourself.  Then right in the middle of something really good... guess who decides to come rearing their fugly little head?

What is an AFK Cloaker?

The simplest definition that I can come up with is this: An AFK Cloaker is a pilot that enters in to a hostile system and stays cloaked up in space for an indefinite period of time in an effort to grief the system inhabitants.

As a whole, I consider AFK Cloakers to be a subset of the Exploration Profession.  While their main tactic and purpose are all the same, some employ different methods to ‘handle their business.’  When it comes to AFK Cloakers I’ve seen Nuisance Cloakers, Hot Drop Cloakers and Bait Cloakers.  There might be others out there, but these are the ones that appear prevalent.

Purpose in Flight

The AFK Cloaker’s purpose is to disrupt the activity in the enemy pocket while observing the activity of the hostiles and creating potential kill mails.  It is important to note that the order of goals. 

Primary: Disrupt activity

Secondary: Observe Enemy Activity

Tertiary: Potential Kills

Most tend to set their base of operations in heavily populated systems that boast a great deal of industrial activity.  It’s pretty easy for them to pick their targets using tools like DOTLAN.  They’ll find their target and research which systems are owned by the target.  Review the number of jumps in system and cross references that with statics for rat kills and mining levels.  Then volia, you can reasonably ascertain the best systems to set up shop.  Setting up in locations like these makes achieving the primary goal incredibly easy for the first few days.  Those inhabiting the system with instantly safe up or dock once they have intel of the hostile coming to the system or once they see the hostile in system with them. 

Once the AFK Cloaker is in system, they are easily able to observe the activity of the system inhabitants.  Most AFK Cloakers use either a T2 or T3 cloaking ship which enables them to warp freely with their cloaks on at all times.  Most will use their time to watch stations and gates and collect intel on POS’s.  They also have the means to gather intel on the system inhabitants activities like; typical roams/op deployment times and who flys what kinds of ships.

After a few days of being continually logged in system, human nature will start to take effect.  The system’s inhabitants will become complacent which is the WORSE thing anyone could do when dealing with an AFK Cloaker.  You’ll see or hear people in corp/alliance comms saying the AFK Cloaker hasn’t been active (but how do they really know since they’re cloaked?) or ‘they’re never on at this time because that player is so-and-so time zone or a plethora of other piss poor excuses why it’s okay to carry on as if it’s business as usual.  Right around this time someone will inevitably get hot dropped/caught in a belt/caught in an anomaly/ [insert other terrible reason to loose ship here]. 

Once a pilot (and those that rush out to help them only to be slaughtered like sausage sliding into a grinder) goes down to the AFK Cloaker, complacency will be replaced with vigilance.  At this point it becomes a wash, rinse and repeat cycle.  The only way the cycle usually ends is if someone mounts an actual offense against the AFK Cloaker to forcibly remove them from system or they just get bored and leave on their on accord.  The system inhabitants will regain solace and activity will pick up… until the next AFK Cloaker comes.

Features Working as Intended

Now there are some that feel this type of game play is unfair or unbalanced.  Like this pilot. Really it’s not.  All pilots have access to cloaking technology.  If a pilot trains the correct skills, anyone in game can have an account with AFK Cloaking ability.  There’s also the fact that cloaks are the solution to dealing with probes, so taking away cloaks would actually cause more imbalance.  There are also ways to combat AFK Cloakers, it just takes a lot of planning, hard work and effort.  These things make AFK Cloaking a viable play style option within Eve Online game mechanics.  If you don’t like it, you’ll probably have to leave Null Sec to get away from it as Null Sec was never meant to be 100% safe.

I should probably throw in a HTFU in here, too.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

Audio Blog: To Dine With Death and Enjoy Its Company

I liked how the quasi-fiction blog came out so much that I decided to turn it in to an audio piece. Enjoy.

Quasi-Fiction: To Dine with Death and Take Pleasure in Its Company

Warning:

This blog features a writing style I’ve decided to experiment with that I’m calling “Quasi-Fiction” or “Dramatic-Recount.”  It features real events, but it presents them in a role-playish and very dramatic style.  If it seems over the top or fanciful, it’s supposed to.  Leave me comment if you like or don’t like it.  Constructive comments are always appreciated. 

Thanks!

Dani♥

 

Oh New Eden.  What have I done?

I’ll admit that I’ve done my share of deeds that could be considered criminal, but I’ve never done anything like this before.  What I did the other night was unthinkable to me at one point in my career.  Of course I had considered it once, maybe twice, but it was nothing more than a flicker of a thought pushed to the back of my mind.  I thought it was a trifle of a daydream, but I was wrong.  It was more than that.  It was seed of temptation.

I have now succumbed to that temptation, that little flicker of a thought.  In the blink of an eye I found myself sliding deeper into the rabbit hole.  The fruits of wanton destruction were bore unto me and I could resist them no longer.  I bit into its succulent flesh and found rapture.  Its exotic fragrance flooded my senses intoxicating me.  The taste of the divine upon my lips is something that I will never forget.  Then again, you never do forget your first.

The experience was a whirlwind when I think back.  We were alerted to a proper quarry and in a rush of action preparations started.  The blood in my veins quickened as adrenaline spread through my body like a fever.  Settling into minimally fitted destroyer class Minmatar ship seemed almost like a virginal experience.  Reverence came over me as I considered its sacrifice for my tawdry pleasures.  The time for such thoughts would be short as the fleet commander called for us to undock.

There we were.  Basking in rich, bold light of the Gallante sun that fed life to our system.  Oh, how it’s light flicker against our hulls.  It was a truly magnificent spectacle that would soon draw anguish in deed.  We were ready to be wielded like the steady and true hand of death itself, for that is what we had become.  Final checks were given and with the precision of a true professional our fleet commander took us and led us down a path where angels feared to tread.

Local would empty quickly.  Those left behind… no.  Those that were given a moment of freedom from our tyranny, loosed a bated breath.  It would be a short lived time of reprieve for them.  An opportunity to escape what had once held them down with impunity.  Still in the backs of their minds, as they skittered from our solar system they would know.  They would know somewhere out in some not to distant sector of space… someone was suffering a fate much worse than theirs.

We slipped into high security space moving as one under skilled direction.  I use the term ‘slip’ loosely due to the fact that Concord’s watchful eye is ever present in the higher security systems.  Announcements of our criminal status and threats against us flashed across our screens so quickly the names barely registered.  We were all criminals as far as the intergalactic law was concerned.  As poor as our reputation was… is… we cared naught.  There were more important and insidious things that kept our focus.

It happened so quickly, but those memories play like slow motion in my mind.  The scene could almost be described as serene.  The floating asteroids twirled as if they were in some majestic ballet.  The sun’s tendrils of light slithered through the darkness to cast it away.  Even the sight of that one lone hulk with its lasers drawing in the universe’s riches was peaceful.  While they are all very… placid, what happened next was truly beautiful. 

Really there’s no other way to describe it.  I’m sure there are others out there who would adamantly disagree with me, but this is my story.  When you combine the intensity of such sensory delights; the flecks destroyed hull that burst into space like burning diamonds, the unmistakable sound of artillery* fire, the tightness in your chest due to your heart stopping for briefest of seconds until your held breath explodes from your lips much like the vessel before you.  The ecstasy that you feel can not be denied.  No matter if it’s from endorphins wrapping you in their chemical bliss or the gratification if your inner predator being fed; you will have your satisfaction. 

In this exquisite dance of brutality and delight there is only one problem.  Once you have supped from the tree of life and taken in its fruits; your eyes are forever opened.  There is no turning back.  There is no straight and narrow.  There is no from whence you came.  No.  There is only you, your ship and the pursuit…

Oh New Eden.  What have I done?

 The Kill Mail

* This was originally auto cannons. I prefer the sound of auto cannon fire and I think it's more recognizable than artillery fire.  However, after having to listen to my corp mates bitch and moan on TS and through eve mail that our fit has artys, I've decided to change it.  Yes.  I changed my blog post to get my WSHOT to STFU.  Fuck you guys.  I like auto cannons.

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: STFU

No seriously. STFU.

Keeping your mouth shut and your fingers still can be your best weapon again those engaging you in unwilling PvP or uPVP as I’ll call it. Cussing pilots out in local and posting scathing threads about evil-doers in the forums does not help your cause. In fact, it usually only makes your problems worse. How do I know? Some of my closest friends are the people you love to hate.

Allow me to introduce to you Wrecking Shots [WSHOT]. They are greifing, shit talking, mood killing, monocle demanding assholes, liers, scammers and nere-do-wells lead by a delightful CEO by the name of ‘I’m Hostile.’ They also happen one of my former corps and remain good friends of mine. Recently one of the pilots in the corp, esquimo leviticus, sent me this tweet keeping me up to date with the corps happenings:

#tweetfleet WSHOT love [Short Link] @Arydanika Your missing out on the monocles x

Now that you’ve read that; back to my main point… STFU.

Do note that I’m not trying to be mean or troll you, but I do want to be harsh if only to engrain this method of survival into your heads; STFU.

Often times when pilots lose a ship by means which they think are “unfair”, “uncouth”, non-epic pvpzors or whatever; they feel the need to tell the world about the offending party. The victims of these events will resort to posting in local or (like in this case) on the forums. What these victims parties usually is realize is that more often then not; the offending party doesn’t care. What worse is that your act of out-rage can possibly make your situation worse.

How do I know? Well, after weeks of mandatory overtime, some real life bad news and spending the last few days running around like a chicken with my head cut off; I decided that I would log in to EVE and have some fun. I cloned down to Gallante space, fitted up a pirating hurricane and joined these evil horrible people in Oulley to obliterate my sec status. I needed this. I really did and I had a freaking blast.

Blast #1
Blast #2

But Dani! How could you do such terrible things?

That mind frame right there is part of the problem. If it was a “terrible thing” it would be against EULA and those doing it would be hit with the ban hammer so hard they’d go cross-eyed. Yes it’s horribly rude and inconsiderate, it inconveniences pilots, it costs the offended party ISKies, but it’s also perfectly legitimate game play. Once “victims” recognize that then they can start to develop ways to combat this type of uPvP which brings us back to our main point. STFU.

WSHOT is enjoying their time in Oulley and I had a great time with them. We spent our time in TS3 laughing at the above mentioned forum post that others thought would serve to mock, troll and de-moralize them. I read Lord Ashur’s blog post that highlighted the threaded and added a few additional lulz and then decided to write one of my own about it. Then of course there was holding pods for monocle ransoms while spamming local with pedo-monocle bear and bouncing between gate perches trying to catch any poor bastard that picked those the wrong time jump though. They also taught me the finer points of surprise buttsecks and prepped me for the possibility of hulk gank should a fitting target be found.

Hopefully that description illustrates the point I’m making here. The cries in local, the flaming forum posts, the angry tweets and the mails of outrage that are frequently made by PvP offended parties have only made their zeal for this activity stronger. The behavior of the pilots being targeted only served make their blip on WSHOTS radar that much brighter and caused the targets on the sides of the ships to grow larger and sweeter. The wailing, moaning, protesting, calls for revenge, offers of white-knightery and gnashing of teeth only caused WSHOTs resolution to stay in Oulley and “kill everything that moves” to grow stronger.

Of course there is an exception to every rule. Everyone once in a while a pilot may feel a flush of embarrassment as they are public called out for “low brow tactics”, but most PvPers have no shame. Then there are cases of those that use their communication skills in this situation for a higher purpose. One of those exceptions happens to be a plucky little hulk pilot named Theos Cragen.

After getting ganked by a surprise horde of thrashers, he opened up a convo with one of the pilots. That pilot then invited the entire fleet, including me, into the convo to troll the guy. In the convo he explained that he was a new player to the game and that he spent all his ISK on that Hulk. He also said that he understand that it was part of the game and that he wanted to eventually join up with WSHOT once he had enough SP and ISK because he was interested in PvP. The guy still ended up get trolled and scammed out of 25 Mil*, but I provided him with an invite to the Project Halibut channel where he could get some help with a new Hulk. Plus, he did make a positive impression on the corp which may help him out down the line.

So I implore you pilots of New Eden. Please. For the love of your own sanity. STFU.

*Yes, he got scammed too. One of the WSHOT’s pilots told him that he could by back his corpse and if he salvaged it, he might get his implants back… poor fool. I’ll also mention that one of the WSHOT’s guys felt bad since he really had no ISK and sent the guy 5 Mil, which he ended up giving to the other WSHOT guy that scammed him. At least they tried right?