I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fifty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

Welcome to the final (maybe) edition of the AFK Cloaker series.  In the first blog post I did a smallintroduction to the phenomenon of AFK Cloakers.  In the second blog post I discussed types of AFK Cloakers and their “methods of operation.”  In this third blog I will cover ways to protect yourself against AFK Clokers and things to keep in mind when you’re out in Null Sec.

As always, I’ll insert my little disclaimer that I am not the end all, be all of this subject.   I do hope to give some sage advice as well as highlight some points of common sense.  Hopefully after reading the article you will feel a little more enlightened and embowered to venture out… and not loose your ass while doing it.

Vigilance is Your Friend.

Like many things, the best person to count on is yourself.  Then again, sometimes we are our own greatest enemy when it comes to protecting our assets.  Complacency and over confidence play a major part in players getting caught by AFK Cloakers.  The sad reality is that these losses are completely avoidable.  Keep your eyes and ears open and stay aware of your surroundings.  Don’t get lazy or fall in to patterns no matter how safe you feel.  These are the kind of behaviors that AFK Clokers look for and seize opportunity on.  Don’t let yourself become a kill board statistic. 

Use the Tools Available to You.

As a former alliance leader and a current member of a Null Sec alliance, I hear the same complaints all the times.  “Another in-game/ts/mumble/etc channel?  Don’t we have enough yet?”  Yes I understand that having 5 in-game intel channels, 2 TS3’s, 1 mumble, 4 Jabbers, 2 IRCs and a pigeon coup for messenger birds can be incredibly annoying, but… these tools will save your ship, your pod and your ego.  Not only do they offer you intel of surroundings areas as well as your immediate local, but they are also a venue you for you report intel and scream like a nub when you get tackled by an AFK Cloaker.  Vast communication options can be obnoxious, but they are essential to survival.

Here a Scout, There a Scout.

If you have a second account (or third, fourth, fifth) then there is no reason for you not to have a scout.  Scouts are one of the biggest life savers in EVE Online and soooo many people do not use them.  Blind jumping is the most terrible, stupid, brain thing you could ever do.  If you ever have the inclination to blind jump, just send me a convo and I’ll come blow you up myself with the added bonus of me stealing your crap and then mocking you while posting my Hello Kitty ACSII image in local.  Of course there are some situations where all you can do is blind jump… like not having any alts. 

If you do not have an alt, never fear.  There is a second option for you.  Make friends!  3 of 4 EVE Online players have alts.  If you’re nice to your corp and alliance mates, they might be nice enough to do some scouting for you.  Hell, they might even let you know some secret uber pocket where they’re stashed off and already have an alt.  Not being a douche to the people you fly with does have it’s advantages.

Location, Location, Location.

Where you choose to do your operations can either be a blessing or a curse.  Use tools like Dot Lan to find areas of operation that work for you.  I would recommend using the following guidelines:

• Stay near or in friendly space
• Find a single piped pocket where you can easily place a scout
• Avoid systems that connect constellations and regions
• Find systems that have low jump count and rat kills within a 24 hour period
• Avoid staging systems

That’s all I have for you at the moment New Eden.  I hope these few tips and things to remember will help you see a little less red on your killboard.  As an added bonus, a few weeks (maybe months) a go, I did an EVE Online: Question of the Day on Twitter.  The question was:

@Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

Needless to say I got some interesting responses.  So to close out this post, I’m going to leave with you some final thoughts gained from the combined wisdom and trolling of #TweetFleet

@ibrahas
@Arydanika As often as not I am the AFK cloaker. It is passive tear extraction. I smile at work knowing someone is crying at my afk alt.

@stevietopsiders
@Arydanika BattleRorq minmatar.co.uk/killboard/?a=k… #tweetfleet

@SharksInSpace
@Arydanika: Skiff with a point and friends. Transport ships (like the Mastadon) can also work for this bait. #tweetfleet #eveonline

@Ikeo58
@BuckyOhair @arydanika pt a drag bubble up 150 away from what your doing and carry on as normal or afk cloaky falcon #tweetfleet

@Khanhrhh
@Arydanika after living in WH space for a few months, you realise how pathetic AFK cloaker whine is and move on #tweetfleet

@BuckyOhair
I am the AFK cloaker MUHAHAHA RT @Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

@bel_amar
@Arydanika I live in a WH. I find complaints about AFK cloakers amusing. It's like people complaining that EVE is too hard for them #EOQoTD

@eclipticrift
@bel_amar @Arydanika I learned to abuse D-scan living in W-space. So until I see probes, I don't worry about them.

@rulesaremyenemy
@Arydanika Use killboards to find his active times and what he brings to the party (cyno bridging/cap drops), then set up a trap.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

HALP?! How do I Get my [insert female companion title here] to Play Eve?!

This is a question I’ve been asked several times since starting Eve Online.  I’ve been asked by corp and alliance mates, those that listen to the podcast and even random people in some of the open in-game chats that I hang out in.  The inquiring pilot’s background can vary from null sec capsuleer to market trader to casual miners.  The question is always the same though.  Why doesn’t my significant other find EVE Online as fascinating as I?

The truth is; I have no freaking clue.  I don’t.  The first problem is that I don’t know your significant other.  That makes it difficult to give good advice because I have no idea of what they’re looking for in a gaming experience.  In fact, I don’t know if they even like video games to begin with.  That coupled with the fact we’re discussing EVE Online, there could be any number of reasons they don’t want to play.  Just think of all the different things current players dislike about the game.

I love this dude.

That said I’m going to try to impart some advice anyway.  Mind you, this advice comes with stipulations.  They are as follows:

1. I have no idea what I’m talking about.  Most of this will be pulled out of my ass. 
2. This is all 100% my opinion.  No facts will be included at all.  Ever.
3. Posted responses are extremely generic in order to fit to a wide variety of situations.
4. You’re reading an advice blog from a chick that plays EVE Online and is way too into ponies.  I would say use your best judgment when necessary, but let’s face it.  The fact you’re here proves you have terrible judgment anyway.

On with the gud poasting!

What’s the Point?

One of the issues with player acquisition and retention on any level is how well new players understand the game and end goals.  This becomes a problem when you look at MMO’s in general because for most people “getting to the next big shiny” is not a valid goal.  Without concrete and easily measurable goals, most people automatically feel there’s no real point or purpose. 

I'm totally borrowing this from Eelis Kiy's blog

The Solution:  The trick is to get the potential player to see how the open sandbox is a benefit more than ‘a rubix cube to go F*** yourself with.’  Take the time to explain how you can basically do anything you want.  For the nurturing and puzzle loving types there is the industrial side with its myriad of blueprints and manufacturing chains.  For those who are more adventurous there are a vast number of null sec and wormhole options.  If their play style is more aggressive, they can duke it out by participating in low sec via piracy or faction warfare.  Even those that prefer role play in rich and stimulating settings are getting their piece of the pie with live events and new changes Incarna is bringing.  EVE Online has a little something for everyone.   

Lack of Instant Gratification

Another common issue is the complete lack of “Push Button; Receive Bacon” in the new player experience.  Yes, there is a small amount of instant gratification in the form of receiving skill books after certain mission or getting a new hull after you complete the tutorial arcs, but it’s not much.  Removing training skills was a good attempt to soften this blow to the NPE and get people in to the game faster.  However, you still need the patience of Mahatma Gandhi in order to get to any serious game.  Just look at the necessity of core, fitting, gunnery, ship command, etc skills.    

The Solution:  There isn’t one.  Yes, you can trick-out their clone out with implants and set them up with the most pro skill plan ever, but… that still only helps so much.  If the potential pilot doesn’t have patience, they won’t make it in EVE Online.  As anyone who’s played EVE Online for any extended period of time knows; you need patience to do anything.  From mining to industry and even PvP, you will spend a fair amount of time waiting.  Those are the breaks. 

A Nobody with No Body? Part 1

Since the dawn of EVE Online, avatars have not played an important role.  This made EVE Online stand apart from most of its MMO competitors.   This also excluded EVE Online from a big portion of the MMO market share because… well.. people like bodies.  For some the disconnect is unbearable and the lack of personal in-game representation (not counting a ship in space) breaks their immersion.  This makes it hard for some people to ‘get in to the game.’

All about the space ships

The Solution: Incarna.  Now that Incarna has come we finally have bodies.  They are bodies stuck in one room, but we have them.  The advent of the NeX store makes it possible to dress up those bodies.  If you wait a little while (there’s that waiting again!) CCP will soon be iterating on walking in stations.  Once Incarna is fully realized capsuleers will be able to move into entirely new era of being corporeal.  Pilots will be able to have shops, poker parlors, hang out rooms or whatever their minds can come up with.  These things combined should appease the Second Life/Sims type crowd.  Hopefully, it will be the door that leads them to actually fly in space.  Get it… door?  I hate you Captain's Quarters alt screen.

A Nobody with No Body? Part 2

People in EVE Online hate people they do not know.  The meta game with in EVE Online and most styles of game play tend to feed that mentality.  Current players of EVE Online took the 80’s message of stranger danger to heart and that mode of thinking is not going to change any time soon.  This can be a new player’s biggest obstacle when it comes to getting started in the game.  Who you run with is a big deal in EVE Online and if you’re running alone… you’re doing it wrong.

The Solution: Give them the hook up.  If you are bringing a new player in to the game, it is in your best interest to introduce them to the right people.  Chances are your corp or alliance isn’t going to want them joining up right away.  However, many larger corps and alliances have starter corporations for lower SP pilots and once the players have the proper amount of SP and have been shown the ropes, they are allowed to run with the big dogs.  There are also corps who’s sole purpose is work with new people.  If your corp does not have a sister corporation for newer player then get them in EVE University.  Also check to see if they are a part of a larger social organization as Goons and Test have their own versions of intro corps, but you have to spend some time in the greater social group first. 

You Are an Awful Instructor

Remember when you were first learning how to drive?  Remember when your parents would clutch their hearts and slam their foot into the floorboards any time the car went above 15 miles per hour?  Or how they would scream “WATCH OUT” when ever there a person/car/stop sign/cat/etc 5000 feet in front of you?  That’s you trying to teach your significant other how to play EVE Online.  Really, it’s not that you’re a terrible instructor.  It’s just that your expectations for them are much higher than they should be.  After all… they’ve watched you play for how many years?  That’s how not to think btw.

The Solution:  Sometimes they best thing you can do, is to pawn your potential pilot off on someone else.  There are organizations out there that are much better at training new players and have a much better success & retention rate than you do.  Off the top of my head I can think of EVE University and Project Halibut.  There are also a lot of great mining and mission running corps that act as great havens for new players to get their feet wet.  There are even some corps that specialize new player PvP training programs.  Sometimes the best way to teach a bird to fly is to kick it out of the nest.  Plus if you aren’t hovering over their shoulders prattling on about how terrible they are at this game they just started playing, it could prevent a break-up/divorce.

Have You Really Talked to Them?

No.  I don’t mean did you mention EVE Online in passing that one day two years ago.  Have you really sat down with them and talked to them about EVE Online?  Have you told them how much you enjoy the game and why you think they might enjoy it to?  Have you told them that you would like to use the game as a medium to spend more time together?  Have you explained that you would like them to take interest in your passion?  Have you shown them eveisreal.net?

The Solution: Sometimes all it takes is a little conversation to get a lot more action.  I say that from personal experience.  I had not touched an MMO until my now ex-boyfriend came to me and said, “Hey.  My last girlfriend didn’t play video games, wouldn’t have anything to do with them and it would really mean a lot to me if you played with me and took interest in my hobbies.”  That Christmas I got a shiny new gaming machine and then entire expansion pack for World of Warcraft.  Within a few months I had my level 70 Hunter and I was working on my Priest.  It’s pretty amazing what can happen when communicate openly and effectively with your partner.

Because one day we all want this.

So that’s all the advice I have so far.  This may be one of those blog posts that turns in to a series, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.  I hope this helps out TerroxEracktor and all the others out there that one day hope for their significant other to understand what's so great about internet spaceships.

Ciao for now♥

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

In a previous blog, The Little Noctis That Could, I touched on the subject of AFK Cloakers.  This is a subject that is every pilot in Null Sec is familiar with in one way or another.  Any pilot that has been in a particular area of space for any extended period time has been on the receiving end of the services of an AFK Cloaker.  Most experienced pilots with an alt, and even some without, have had the pleasure of being on the giving end. 

In this particular installment of the I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fitty Series, I’m going to discuss AFK Cloakers, Methods of Operation and Solutions which will be presenting in three different blog posts.  I might even throw in some more stories if I catch wind of something interesting.  Now this isn’t suppose to be an end all be all definitive report.  I’m not anyway near BOV status to rightful write those.  However, this blog will be an overview on the topic, a collection of my thoughts on the subject and should anyone leave comment it might even turn into a discussion.  Now before we get in to the heavy stuff, I’d like to lead off with a little humor.

AFK Cloakers are Literally The Herps

No.  I really mean it.  Follow me here.  One day you're minding your own business say scanning down sigs, mining or whatever gets you off.  You're having a good time and everything is going well.  Then all of a sudden, out from nowhere, they appear in local.  You don’t know where they came from.  You don't know how they got there.  To top it all off, it doesn't look like they're leaving and you’re stuck dealing with something you didn’t want in the first place. 

So you go back to your pals.  You ask a couple of hypotheticals.  They respond with how they really aren't qualified to answer, but personally they wouldn't screw around with that sort of thing.  Push comes to shove and you decided to wait it out a little bit putting you in a very comfortable situation. 

Then all of a sudden one day they're gone; poof just like it's freaking magic.  You figure you're in the clear and go back to doing what it you usually do.  Everyone’s having a good time again.  Everything's going well and you're enjoying yourself.  Then right in the middle of something really good... guess who decides to come rearing their fugly little head?

What is an AFK Cloaker?

The simplest definition that I can come up with is this: An AFK Cloaker is a pilot that enters in to a hostile system and stays cloaked up in space for an indefinite period of time in an effort to grief the system inhabitants.

As a whole, I consider AFK Cloakers to be a subset of the Exploration Profession.  While their main tactic and purpose are all the same, some employ different methods to ‘handle their business.’  When it comes to AFK Cloakers I’ve seen Nuisance Cloakers, Hot Drop Cloakers and Bait Cloakers.  There might be others out there, but these are the ones that appear prevalent.

Purpose in Flight

The AFK Cloaker’s purpose is to disrupt the activity in the enemy pocket while observing the activity of the hostiles and creating potential kill mails.  It is important to note that the order of goals. 

Primary: Disrupt activity

Secondary: Observe Enemy Activity

Tertiary: Potential Kills

Most tend to set their base of operations in heavily populated systems that boast a great deal of industrial activity.  It’s pretty easy for them to pick their targets using tools like DOTLAN.  They’ll find their target and research which systems are owned by the target.  Review the number of jumps in system and cross references that with statics for rat kills and mining levels.  Then volia, you can reasonably ascertain the best systems to set up shop.  Setting up in locations like these makes achieving the primary goal incredibly easy for the first few days.  Those inhabiting the system with instantly safe up or dock once they have intel of the hostile coming to the system or once they see the hostile in system with them. 

Once the AFK Cloaker is in system, they are easily able to observe the activity of the system inhabitants.  Most AFK Cloakers use either a T2 or T3 cloaking ship which enables them to warp freely with their cloaks on at all times.  Most will use their time to watch stations and gates and collect intel on POS’s.  They also have the means to gather intel on the system inhabitants activities like; typical roams/op deployment times and who flys what kinds of ships.

After a few days of being continually logged in system, human nature will start to take effect.  The system’s inhabitants will become complacent which is the WORSE thing anyone could do when dealing with an AFK Cloaker.  You’ll see or hear people in corp/alliance comms saying the AFK Cloaker hasn’t been active (but how do they really know since they’re cloaked?) or ‘they’re never on at this time because that player is so-and-so time zone or a plethora of other piss poor excuses why it’s okay to carry on as if it’s business as usual.  Right around this time someone will inevitably get hot dropped/caught in a belt/caught in an anomaly/ [insert other terrible reason to loose ship here]. 

Once a pilot (and those that rush out to help them only to be slaughtered like sausage sliding into a grinder) goes down to the AFK Cloaker, complacency will be replaced with vigilance.  At this point it becomes a wash, rinse and repeat cycle.  The only way the cycle usually ends is if someone mounts an actual offense against the AFK Cloaker to forcibly remove them from system or they just get bored and leave on their on accord.  The system inhabitants will regain solace and activity will pick up… until the next AFK Cloaker comes.

Features Working as Intended

Now there are some that feel this type of game play is unfair or unbalanced.  Like this pilot. Really it’s not.  All pilots have access to cloaking technology.  If a pilot trains the correct skills, anyone in game can have an account with AFK Cloaking ability.  There’s also the fact that cloaks are the solution to dealing with probes, so taking away cloaks would actually cause more imbalance.  There are also ways to combat AFK Cloakers, it just takes a lot of planning, hard work and effort.  These things make AFK Cloaking a viable play style option within Eve Online game mechanics.  If you don’t like it, you’ll probably have to leave Null Sec to get away from it as Null Sec was never meant to be 100% safe.

I should probably throw in a HTFU in here, too.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty: Introduction

Season 3 Episode 3 of the South Park series titled “The Succubus” contains a story told by Chef’s parents about the Loch Ness Monster.  In the story, the Loch Ness Monster appears to Chef’s parents while they are on a boat and requests three dollars and fifty cents.  Chef’s father tells the Monster to “get his own god damned money” while Chef’s mother gives him a dollar.  Chef’s father goes on to comment, “Well, of course he's not gonna go away, Mary! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you've got more!”

Now I know what you’re thinking.  What the hell does this have to do with EVE Online or spaceships?  Allow me to make the connection.  All too often pilots in EVE give the Loch Ness Monster a dollar.  Exchange the phrase ‘the Loch Ness Monster’ with ‘griefers’ and ‘a dollar’ with ‘free kills’ and you’ll start to see where I’m going with this. 

This phenomenon in EVE Online goes by many different names and effects a wide variety of players and activities.  I’ve heard it referred to as “feeding the fat kids candy”, “being a nub” and even some phrases that get a little vulgar.  It can effect the flow of logistics, industry, missioning and in some rare and specific cases pvp as well.  Still the under laying concept is the same no matter what label you stick on it or the situation that occurs.  Easy kills will draw in the enemy and give them a reason to stick around.

So now we get to the crux of the matter.  What can be done to prevent easy kills?  Are there specific examples of situations and behaviors that allow for easy kills to happen more frequently?  What are some of theories and techniques other pilots use to avoid giving easy kills?  Once the shame spiral of easy kills start; how and when does it stop?   So when do I get to all that good stuff? 

The short answer is: later.  The responses to the above questions will come in a series I’m calling “I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty.”  I’m considering the series to be a “life style guide” because the discussion and theory crafting will be based on changing attitudes, habits and perceptions in order to increase the life expectancy of your current vessel and your clone. 

I’m looking forward to writing the series and I’m also looking forward to feedback as the series progresses.  I already have ideas on content and plan to have a couple of pieces written and published shortly. 

Ciao for now♥

The Plight of the Newbie

On Saturday night I had the wonderful experience of being a guest host along with Angus McDecoy on the podcast "Eve Commune" hosted by Garheade and Chainer Cygnus.  If any of you have the opportunity to join these three in -any- projects they do... do it.  Don't even thinking about it.  Just say yes and hang on for the ride of your life.

Eve Commune along with Garheade and Chainer Cygnus are associated with Project Halibut.  It's a little project with a crazy name and an awesome mission.  The purpose of Project Halibut it to assist new player's and prepare them for the huge learning curve of EVE Online.  Not only do they assist with skill books, starter ships and mods, but they give new players something they all desperately need... a voice of reason and experience.

If you listened to the podcast, you heard some of my own n00b faux-pas.  I learned the hard way that guns do not go on salvage boats to the tune of -2.something security status.  I also learned that some the best game assistance is not always in-game.  There are also plenty of other amazingly dumb thing I did, but listening them all off would put this post in to the tl;dr category.  Rather then going on and on about stupid mistakes I made; I do want to highlight some things that I believe all new players should know.

Joining a Player Corp is a GOOD Thing
I've noticed that a lot of new players that come in to the game alone are hesitant about joining player owned corporations.  I understand their hesitation as the first rule of EVE Online is; Trust no one.  However, new players being overly paranoid about joining player owned corps is grossly counterproductive to their in-game development.  Don't get me wrong, healthy paranoia is good, but shooting yourself in the foot due to your paranoia is... well... bad.

Player owned corporations boast a huge number of benefits.  They have experienced players who are more inclined to give you "good" advice, they offer boosts and bonuses, they provide inclusion in large scale activities (mining ops, incursions, gang pvp, etc) and there's a nice long laundry list of other great reasons to join player corps.  Give player corps a chance new players.  Just don't give them your isk (joining fees are -always- a scam).

You Tube and Google are Your Friend
The best tutorials for EVE Online are the ones made by players.  You will find these tutorials by searching on You Tube, The EVE-O (EVE Online) forums and just by using Google.  As awesome as CCP is at doing what they do; they're not so great at making road maps that make sense to outsiders.   There have been many times where I felt I had taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Fly What You "CAN" fly and can Afford
Just because you have battleship 3 doesn't mean you're able to fly a battleship.  There's a lot that goes into the training process for ships.  You need to make sure you have the right skills when it comes to capacity, power grid, CPU, armor/shield tanking, gunnery/missile/laser skills, etc, etc, etc.  Simply because you can get in to a ship, doesn't mean you can fly it well.  What's the point of having a Dominix with a 10K tank?

This brings me to my other point of flying what you can afford.  I'll paint you a scene.  Johnny buys a fully fit Dramiel for 100Mil off contract.  However, with ratting, PI and salvaging Johnny's monthly income is only 25Mil.  When (not if) Johnny looses this Dramiel... he's going to be screwed. 

Here's another little tip.  CCP doesn't like it when you muscle in their terf.  It's their job to screw the players, but that's another blog post.

Project Halibut Website
Project Halibut In-Game Channel - Project Halibut