If It Makes You Happy...

I had one of those serious “Murphy’s Law” periods of time though with the powers of “Dawin’s Law” on my side I was able to overcome and eventually evolve.  When I look back at the almost ruins of my gaming habit, the podcast, my blog and everything else I’ve done; I can safely and enthusiastically say that I evolved the fuck out it.

Now before asking me what I’m on and then requesting a sample; I should probably start from the beginning.  New Year’s Eve, my computer decided to blow up.  My heat sink was on the fritz and lead to two capacitors on my motherboard popping.  The end result was a dead motherboard and no functioning computer at all.

The pro of this, was I met some interesting people on my journey to fix my computer (as well as finding other things non-computer related to occupy my time with) and I learned how to build my own PC.  The con of this, was that I had to take an extended break from Eve and all my other gaming plus put the podcast in to hiatus.  It was hard.  For a long time I was down about the whole thing even though I knew it was all temporary.

After a few weeks of experiencing “outside” (still overrated), going out with friends, going out on dates (totally forgot how awesome doing that was); I was able to finally get back in to the swing of things… or so I thought.  Yes I had my computer back, but life wasn’t really done with me yet.

The next couple of months were really difficult and took me to some dark places.   There was the x-ray with a mysterious dark spot that thankfully went away for a close family member.  The multiple surgeries that sought to prevent blindness for another close family member.  The suicide and the widow & two young children it left behind.  Then the loss of my dearest friend & companion Mister Alexander Pendleton the III hit me like a freight train the day before a Ford Ram hit my Mustang like a smaller freight train.  Things were bad and starting the podcast up again or returning to Eve didn’t seem like the right thing to do.

I was ready to quit everything, but then I talked to my mom.  It was a simple conversation, but she asked me how the podcast was going.  She doesn’t listen to it (Thank everything in the known universe), but she does have it book marked on her iPad and loves to show it to people.  I told her I had closed it down while my PC was out, but I was thinking of ending it all together.  Her response was, “But I thought you liked doing the podcast.  You’re also so happy when you talk about it.  Why give that up?”

I couldn’t think of a reason.  Yes, Stan left Voices and I left Tech4, but that wasn’t a reason to close it down.  Down two co-hosts in less that a year looks awful, but that wasn’t a reason either.  Haters hating and slow growth on listenership wasn’t a good enough reason to give up either.

Bottom line, it’s hard to give up something you’re passionate about.  I have a deep enjoyment for Eve.  I’ll share my Eve experiences and my podcast will anyone who will listen including my friends, family, dates, the associates at Fry’s and anyone else who will stand still long enough to listen.  I enjoy the company of other Eve players that share my enthusiasm for the game.  I enjoy putting effort in to things that enrich my gaming experience and creating something that I and others can enjoy and appreciate it. 

It’s been a bumpy ride and there will be more bumps in the road as time goes on.  Life constantly changes and brings challenges and obstacles your way.  That’s why it’s so important to find joy in the things you do and to embrace things that bring joy your way.  Voices from the Void, And Knowing, talking to my co-hosts and the listeners, playing this game and Eve Online as a whole bring me joy.  Thank you for sharing in that joy with me.

That said, the gears are back in motion.  I have a “plan” set for the blog to increase my writing activity.  The podcast had gotten a facelift or twelve and will continue to evolve.  I’ve even been discussing some contests and features with my new co-hosts for after CSM7.  All I ask is that you excuse the mess, as we all progress. 

Ciao

Dani♥