Thursday, December 15, 2011

I'd Like to Announce; Rixx Javix is The Man

So.... As if we didn't all already know... Rixx Javix is the man.  He really is.  He is one of the people that will probably never cease to amaze me in positive and wonderful ways.  In his most recent episode of be a fantastic person, he jumped on board with my nutty idea of "The Power of 100 Voices"  and how to apply this to something I enjoy doing and do quite a bit anyway.

His contribution to the project was two-fold.  In Good Guy feat #1; he actually sent in audio!  That kind of support was more than I could have hoped for in the first place.  In Good Guy feat #2; he created this amazing background to go along with the add.  I'll give you a moment to guess what's replaced by Dramiel against a cool red nebulae over in Minmatar land.



After sending tweets and emailing the link to his post and pissing off my neighbors with the squealing, I decided to go be counter inspired.  Those that follow my EVE lust in all its forms probably spotted the news article over on Tech 4 News.  Well, since we're all being mutually creative; I made a in-character response about Rixx's support.  It seems that CreoDron has sparked some great EVE Online Metagame/Role-Play creativity.

Yes.  Drones. 

Who would have thought?!

And PS Rixx... I do have some posts that pack a bit of a punch.  :P

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Power of 100 Voices: United Technologies of CreoDron

So as most of you know, I am one of the voices, writers and conceptual con-artists behind the delightful player facilitated immersion project knows as Tech4 News.  Don’t know Tech4 News is?  Then click here, but don’t forget to come back.


With that out of the way, back to my main point.  One of the writing duties I’ve taken on is commercials.  I have a personal passion for commercials.  By the age of 7 I had produced two infomercials (Wonder Weave and Healthy Berries) and by 15 I just knew that my purpose in life was to become a big time Advertising Executive with Bozell World Wide in their Paris, France office.  None of that happened, but I still like making commercials.

That’s where you the reader come in.  ‘What do I have to do with any of this?’, ‘What the hell is a Healthy Berry?’, ‘Where is this bus going and why is it so hot?’  These are probably some of the questions you are asking yourself.  There are probably other questions as well and the answer to those are ‘no’, ‘mostly on Wednesdays and Saturdays’ and ‘I swear it was like that when I got here, but I’d like to keep the cane and those ear muffs.’  I totally forgot where I was going with this paragraph so I’m going to skip to the next one now.

So this commercial thing.  I’m working on a new commercial for Tech4 News.  It’s about CreoDron, which in the lore of EVE produces drones.  Now we’ve taken a few liberties on expending what kind of drones they produce, but one would have to imagine that in a progressive and highly advanced society like New Eden, they’re more than just Repair, Combat and ECM drones.  I still haven’t answered the part about you, but stick with me, I’m getting there.

So you.  What do I want from you?  Your voice.  And no not in the 'creepy Ursula from The Little Mermaid, steal your voice and try to steal your man because I have a hard on for your dad' kind of way.  No.  What I want is more scary than that.  I want you to record the lines below.  All of them.  If your work is good, I’m going to put your voice in the commercial.  If you send me something weird, I’m going to montage it with the other weird crap I’m sure to get and play it on Voices. 

So, go my little EVE-Ites!  Record and then send the MP3 files to vandvpodcast(at)gmail(dot)com.  The "official dead line" for this is Friday Dec 23rd.  However, never fear!  I would like to do several versions of the commercial, so if you need a little more time that's cool too.

Dani♥



Drones.

You never really think about them, but where would we be without our automaton friends?

The farms would fall silent and overgrown. The groceries would never arrive. The streets would fill with trash

More of our sons and daughters lives would be risked in relentless factories, on hostile worlds, in treacherous mines and in defense of our space.

Drones have many uses. But you and I both know their primary function is making our lives easier.

*short laugh*

But between you and me... you don't have to think about them.  Why?  Because that's our job.
 
CreoDron.  Yes.  Drones.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Children's Songs for EVE Online

A while ago, Roc Wieler was featured on Voice from the Void.  During the episode, he mentioned the idea of Matari Children’s songs.  The idea has stuck with me ever since that interview.

Between my passion for parody songs and the fact that life experiences have caused me to learn an abundant amount of children’s songs (Nursery volunteer, Girls Inc volunteer, Girl Scouts, WDW Cast Member, etc); I figured why not?

Why not EVE Online children’s songs?  Is it weird?  Yes.  A little creepy?  Borderline.  Will it be funny?  Of course.  Will people read this post and start singing them any way or at least show the post to friends?  I’m counting on it.

Also, since Roc decided to “borrow” one of my ideas for one of his “Roc’s Rules”; I think it’s only fair I get the jump on the parody songs.  At least I’m gracious enough to give credit where credit is due.  :/

So.  Without further ado…. Children’s songs for EVE Online.

++++++++++++++++

The Pod Amarr Song
In the style of "If You're Happy and You Know It"
(Special thanks to Bucky O'Hair for this one.)



If you’re happy and you know it; Pod Amarr.
If you’re happy and you know it; Pod Amarr.
If you’re happy and you know it.
Let your turrets go and show it.
If you’re happy and you know it; Pod Amarr.

If you can not find Caldari; Pod Amarr.
If you can not find Caldari; Pod Amarr.
If you can not find Caldari.
And your killboard’s lookin’ sorry.
If you can not find Caldari; Pod Amarr.

If Gallante’s looking shifty; Pod Amarr.
If Gallante’s looking shifty; Pod Amarr.
If Gallante’s looking shifty.
And your trigger finger’s itchy.
If Gallante’s looking shifty; Pod Amarr.

If the sleeper’s are too risky; Pod Amarr.
If the sleeper’s are too risky; Pod Amarr.
If the sleeper’s are too risky
And your wormhole’s closing quickly
If the sleeper’s are too risky; Pod Amarr.


The Fleet Song
In the style of "The Song that Never Ends" from Sherry Lewis' Lamb Chop



This is the fleet that doesn’t end.
Yes it goes on and on my friend.
Some FC.. called a primary not knowing what it was.
And they just kept pew-pewing on forever just because...(repeat forever)



The Chribba Song
In the style of "Hi My name is Joe"
 (Written prior to TEST taking 9UY4-H)



Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said no.
They asked.. code Eve Files on your website....

Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said no.
They asked.. code Eve Search on your website....

Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said no.
They asked.. code Eve Offline on your website....

Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said no.
They asked.. code eEve Agents on your website....

Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said no.
They asked.. code EVE Board on your website....

Hi..
My name is Chribba.
I gotta system in Providence and work on 3rd parties.
One day New Eden said
Chribba... Are you busy?  I said YES!!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

EVE Online Pod Pack: Dec 2011 Update


Keeping it short and sweet this month folks.

Introducing
Lost in EVE
A big welcome back as Jade makes his triumphant return.  This time around it's a solo show, but we'll never know where the path to piracy and Jade's other journeys will lead him.

Local Spam
Welcome to #Tweetfleet residents PyroTech3 and ALushInSpace.  Get ready to laugh and enjoy some great local chatter as they spam and ham it up.

Taking a Stage Left...
Due to the holiday season, no removals will be done until February.  Merry Crucible!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

[Fiction] When the Morning Comes


The glow of artificial light increased from a faint blush to half dimmed morning radiance.  This particular light program for the Amarrian Captian’s Quarters was set to mimic morning light.  For some it was a gentle way to wake up.  For others it was a substitute for the planet side sunlight they hadn’t experienced in ages.  For the Matari woman that slept on the narrow slip of bedding, it was a mild annoyance that caused her to roll over with a faint groan. 

“I thought you were a morning person?”   The soft whisper came in the form of an ease male tenor.  Groggy words laced with a chuckle at her reaction to the light.

“Being a morning person and wanting to get up are not mutually exclusive.”  Even with only being half awake, her tongue was still sharp.  “Besides, shouldn’t you be flattered that I choose to stay a bit longer?”

She moved once more, the thin linen that covered her slid down to reveal the smooth slope of her shoulder, back and hips.  He smiled.  His mind shifted focus from her quip to the newly exposed flesh. 

“I suppose you’re right.”

He reached out to touch her.  Thick and slightly rough finger tips ran over the silken skin of her back.  She would shift slightly against his touch, but wouldn’t move away. 

The light caused her warm earthy colored skin to shimmer, while his only seemed more pale.  The contrast in their skin made him grin like the cheeky bastard he was.  His euphoria was short lived as a small voice made him question if the enjoyment was erotic or racist.  His eyes drifted lower as did his hand.  An action bore from shame rather then desire.

 “Why haven’t you told me about your tattoo?”  It was a strange question to ask, but he was searching for anything to pull him out of self inflicted guilt of being racially aware.  Yes, he would ask about her Voluval; that would make him feel more… enlightened.

“Because I think that getting to intimate would be a detriment to our professional relationship.”  Even though sleepiness, the flat tone of sarcasm came through clearly.  A dead give away that she was fucking with him.  She would stir once more to roll over in the small space.  Bleary eyes narrowed and focused upon her companion.  “Really?”

“What?”  He tried to appear genuinely shocked at her response.  “I can’t want to know more about you?”  He reached out to touch her arm.  The gesture was an unspoken affirmation of his words.  This advance would be blocked by a single sweeping motion of her own hand, a raised eyebrow and an unconvinced purse of her lips.

Another heavy sign came.  Shifting to his back, he laid back down.  His hands moved to brush downward over his face.  He became quiet and the entire room with him.  In the silence footsteps in the outer corridor could be heard as well as the dripping coffee from the mini cantina drone and even the sounds of the docking bay attached to the quarters. 

“I was thinking about something… and… I decided that I want to think about something else.”  He brought his hands down so they rested against his chest, his fingers folding in between each other.  The shame was a bit clearer in his eyes. 

“You know you sound like a spy when you talk like that.”

“I know.  It’s just… It… Nevermind.”

“It’s okay.  You don’t have to tell me.”  She rolled once more and settled on her stomach.  Her right arm rested on his chest and as well as her head.  “It is my Voluval.  It’s the sacred mark we receive when we come of age.  It doesn’t mean as much as it used to, but it’s still tradition and holds a good amount of significance.”

“Does yours have a special meaning?”

The silence came again.  Her full lips parted, but no words came.  Instead, those dark almond shaped eyes bore into him.

“Every Voluval is sacred and carries some kind of meaning.”

“I understand.”

“No… I mean...” She paused and leaned back from him slightly.  “They are really important to us.  They bare the most… secret and special part of a person.  They are a window into the wearer’s fate.”  Her words were heavy with meaning.  Her voice nearly breaking as she tried to verbalize the emotional and physiological connection that no other race could really understand.  Her eyebrows furrowed.   “Do you really understand?”

“Probably not.”  It was one of the moments of unadulterated truth.  “But want to at least try.”

“You are of me, but not mine to keep.
You are of rock, but you will not be bound.
You are water, but you will not be consumed.
You are of sun and will harness it.
You are of air and shall wield its power.
You are of the universe.  You are of Eden.
You are the wandering soul.

Those were the words my Grandmother spoke when my Voluval was revealed.  She was… is our clan matriarch.  The wisest woman I ever knew.  I could see the tears welling in my mother’s eyes, but my Grandmother’s face was almost stone.”  A flicker of sadness came to her voice and her eyes, but in true Martari style they were pushed back.  “A few days after that I left the clan and the planet.”

“And you obviously haven’t been back since.”

Slowly, methodically she rose up from where she laid on the bed.  Her expression was stone and her silence was deafening. 

“So, I’m right then?”  He watched her as she shifted once more and her eyes narrowed slightly.  The small gesture compelled him to explain quickly.  “Well, you’re Vherokior.  They’re considered the more nomadic of the Matari people.  And your…”  He motioned to her brow.  “Your naming mark and your Voluval are your only tattoos… which is unusual for a Matari.  Even one of the wandering persuasion.”

She still didn’t respond.

“My father was an anthropologist.  Of all cultures.  Becoming more culturally aware and embracing all people regardless of background was important to him.  It was also something he instilled in his children.” As he explained his knowledge, he slowly moved to sit up.  Even sitting side by side, he was still tall than her.  Larger in mass as well.  “I didn’t mean to offend and you don’t make this easy.  Sometimes it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall with you.”

“And what about your slaver Grandfather?”

“If you know that, then you know about the accusations and the trial.”  A contempt filled smirk marred his thin lips.  “Amarrians enjoy persecuting their own as much as they enjoy persecuting others.”  He turned and got up from the mattress that was really only meant to fit one.  His large hand ran over his smoothly bald head while he wandered over to the mini-cantina drone and poured a cup of the thick engine oil like substance.   

“Let’s take the Slicer and  Dramiel up to Old man Star today.  It’ll be like told times.”  She followed suit, rising up from bed and walking over to the small sink.  Water was splashed on her face causing some of her red dyed hair to become wet in the process.  The water continued to run as she brushed her teeth. 

“Is that all you ever think about?”  The shift in conversation made him feel slightly put out.  Sometimes it was just hard with her.  Taking a long drink, he walked over to where she stood and turned the water off. 

She watched him as he approached.  A smile curved around her toothbrush while she kept scrubbing her teeth.  After a quick spit she took a careful look at her teeth in the mirror and shook her head slowly.  The water was turned back on long enough to rinse before she turned it off.  He could have sworn he caught that indignant twinkle in her eye. 

“No.  I think about the things that make me happy.  You can understand that can’t you?”  A taunting wink was cast in his direction.  “Right now, for me, that’s you and Old Man Star.”