[I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty] Reductio Ad Absurdum

If you’ve taken a Critical Thinking class or been on a debate team, you’ve probably heard of this term and know it quite well. If you’ve have any kind of prolonged exposure to human society, then you’re 99% likely to have come in to contact with this argument. Reductio Ad Absubdum is Latin for: Reduction to the absurd. It’s an argument taken to base composition where the subject of the argument is proven false due to ridiculous nature of the proposed consequence.

For example:

If Goons is a good alliance, then I’m the most elite solo pvper ever.
Or
High sec is so safe, I can just haul my billions of ISK worth of [crap] in a frigate.

In both of these arguments the consequences stated are abused because their obvious falsehood. Presumably we all know this. In the instance of the first example; my only solo kill is from an auto piloting rifter. I’ll be the first to say that’s hardly elite solo by any means. However, we come to the second argument, there is a problem and a big one.

There are an alarming number of pilots that take this false argument as a truth. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at a few kill mails shall we?

○ Case #1 
○ Case #2 
○ Case #3

 
Now let’s discuss just why “High sec is so safe, I can just haul my billions of ISK worth of [crap] in a frigate" is so absurd.

There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Safe Sec (TANSTAASS)
When I was in high school I opted out of human health and took economics instead. In that wonderful class I learned about classic GTOs and economics. One of the concepts taught in the class was TANSTAAFL or There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch which is a lesson in opportunity cost and how there is a “cost” for everything.

The same concept can be applied to all space in New Eden. There is no such thing as Safe Space. Ever. No. Shush. There are elements of danger an any space in any security. There’s a saying amount EVE Online pilots. Logging in to the game is consenting to PvP. They aren’t bullshitting.

In high sec, there are people with ship scanners at gates scanning everything they can looking for a juicy target. There are gankers that don’t mind loosing their Tornado or [insert flavor of the patch here] for the chance of candy to spill out from an unsuspecting loot piñata. IT’S NOT PARANOIA IF THEY’RE REALLY OUT TO GET YOU! And make no mistake. They are out to get you… or at least what’s in your cargo bay and a pretty sweet kill mail on top of that.

The 6 P’s
Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Makes sense right? You didn’t spend all that time mining/missioning/plexing/ratting/market trading/etc to not want those several millions/billions worth of assets. You earned that shit. You want to take your shit and do whatever it was that you were planning to do with it. That’s why you got all that crap in the first place. You have plans for it. So why not protect your assets, your time and your sanity?

Use the right ship and movement methods. It really couldn’t be simpler, but we as pilots often become complacent in our habits. Once you get settled in to your Eve-Groove; you become complacent. I’m not saying you need to be on the edge of your chair and digging your nails in to your desk ever time you log in, but complacency is a bad thing. Eve Online is one of those games where constant situational awareness is necessary for survival. This is a sandbox and the name painted on the side is “Darwin.”

If you know you have to make a high value delivery then just be aware. Who hangs out in the pipe you use? Are any of them known gankers? Do you have the right ship for the job? If you don’t have the right ship is there someone who does that you can trust? Does your corporation or alliance have any war decs? You may be laughing by now, but those kill mails happen for a reason. The over all reason is usually because someone had a case of “The Dumb”, but asking yourself the simplest of question can save you a lot of heartache in the long run. It’s that simple and you have lots of options! Let us take a look at them for a moment shall we?

Choices, Choices, Choices
Orcas are fantastic for moving high value merchandise. They are capital class Industrial ships and boast a number of uses. You can tank them to high hell and the contents of the corporate hanger can not be scanned. As an added bonus; if the ship gets destroyed so do the contents of the hold.

There are also freighters and jump freighters. Freighters and jump freighters can be used in any space, but jump freighters can use cynos. The use of a cyno is a huge bonus if you’re living in low or null sec. I should also note that freighters do not have fitting slots. Their base stats are all you get. They do make up for it in cargo space.

A good mid range option for transporting goods is an advanced industrial ship. These Tech 2 ships come in two flavors; Transport and Blockade Runners. Blockade Runners have frigate like agility and a bonus to warp strength and a boost to an EHP modifier. Transport ships have the benefit of being able to fix a covert ops cloak which is valuable in any situation.

If you don’t have the skills for these there are other options. You could use a tanked T2 covert ops ship with cargo containers. It’s not the best circumstances for moving high value merchandise, but it’s better than nothing. If you have some extra ISK on hand, try a verified service like Red Frog/Black Freight. Red Frog Freight will deliver your goods anywhere in high sec for a modest fee. Black Frog Freight is their null/low sec counter part.

So please people. Spread the word and tell your friends. Stop being ridiculous.

I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fitty: Recruitment Scams and You

The universe has instructed me to write this blog post.  No, I have not been drinking Tiger’s Blood with Charlie Sheen and getting messages from my god-like peers.  However, the same themes keep crossing my path over and over again.  I just figure it’s time to take the hint.

Over the past few weeks I’ve come across several instances of EVE Online players getting caught up in recruitment scams.  These types of scams are not as widely recognized as the typical Jita Scam even though there are hordes of “I got scammed out of [instert ISK amount/Assets] by [Insert Corporation/Alliance Here].”  A new twist in this trend is that this type of scam has now started to target entire corporations and alliances; not just individual pilots.

Recently one of my Voices from the Void listeners has the experience of being one of the unlucky few caught in a recruitment scam.  This particular scam was ran by a member of Goonwaffe, the executor corporation of Goonswarm Federation [GSF].  They wrote in to VandV Podcast and shared their experience after we aired a news story about another GSF scam.  Here is their experience in their own unedited words:

Greetings, I just wanted to share an unfortunate experience I recently had. The long and short of it is I was scammed out of a lot of ISK and several ships by an active member of GoonWaffe, who was openly claiming to recruit on GoonWaffe's behalf. His name was Hopeless Bromantic, and he promised to have my ships moved from high-sec to VFK-IV for me, free of charge. Not long after this was done, he revealed GoonWaffe's intentions in an mail, demanding 300M ISK for my ships back. This was done with the full knowledge of GoonWaffe. I hope people will be able to save themselves some ISK and avoid the thieves. I don't want to sound like a crybaby over this, I know I have no power, no recourse; I just want other players who might fall for this as I did to know and be proof against it. Lots of people say this is standard operating procedure for them, and that it was general knowledge, but what can you do when you're among the few who don't know it? I'm sorry if this is not the best place to send this, I'm just not sure how would be the best way to get the word out. Thanks for reading this!

The particular scam used above is not the “usual” recruitment scam that you hear about, but there are still many pilots that fall for this ploy.  Usually what happens to most pilots is the same thing that almost happened to a friend of mine.

Just yesterday I received a conversation request from a long time in-game friend of mine.  He explained that he had grown bored with his current path, but lucky for him he had an application in review with Goonwaffe.  Needless to say my spidey senses went up instantly.  I ask him if they asked him to pay ISK and he admitted they wanted a 500mil application fee.  The next 30 minutes of the conversation was spent on me trying to convince him of the truth:  He was being scammed. 

Naturally he was reluctant to believe me and I understand.  No one wants to believe that they could be the victim and fall into right in to the clutches of a scammer, but it happens.  It happens a lot.  Like I said before, there are hordes of threads from pilots that have fallen into the same trap and the trend shows no sign of ceasing.

In fact, the trend is growing.  Entities such as GSF have become more brazen with their scams and have started to set their targets on entire alliances.  A high profile case of this is the Pure Blind Freighter Massacre that Fuzzy Logec Alliance suffered early September 2011.  The story was covered by several media sources including Interstellar Correspondents, EVENews24 here and here and you can see the battle report yourself on eve-kill.net. 

Just to drive the point home, I’m going to include a few more links you should read.  As you go through them you’ll notice that all of the links included are pilots outing corporations or alliances for recruitment and rental scams.  You’ll also notice that these links cover a variety of corporations and alliances, but I do pick on GSF and Test Alliance Please Ignore [TEST] slightly.  You’ll also notice that these links have a range of dates and personal experiences and scams used do vary.  

Scam Thread #01

Scam Thread #02

Scam Thread #03

Scam Thread #04

Scam Thread #05

Scam Thread #06

Scam Thread #07

Scam Thread #08

Scam Thread #09

Scam Thread #10

Scam Thread #11

Scam Thread #12

Scam Thread #13

Scam Thread #14

Scam Thread #15

Scam Thread #16

Scam Thread #17

Scam Thread #18

Scam Thread #19

Scam Thread #20

And if 20 different examples of these recruitment/rental scams aren’t enough; there’s more.  Entities like GSF and TEST have come out openly and said they do not recruit publicly.  They also go on further that that recruitment is only open to those that are already members of their social groups and those recruits must be active members of the social groups for a minimum of three months.  The only other way to join these organizations is to have a personal sponsor and anything else is a scam.  Need to see it in print?  Then check out this Goonwaffe public wiki article and this Dreddit public wiki article.  It’s right there in print.  Just to add a little cherry on top, you can hear TheMitanni, executor of GSF, say the same thing with your own ears in a Lost in EVE Podcast* recorded 09.09.11.

Don’t be Stupid.

*Special Thanks to Araziah for reminding me of this interview.

I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fifty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

Welcome to the final (maybe) edition of the AFK Cloaker series.  In the first blog post I did a smallintroduction to the phenomenon of AFK Cloakers.  In the second blog post I discussed types of AFK Cloakers and their “methods of operation.”  In this third blog I will cover ways to protect yourself against AFK Clokers and things to keep in mind when you’re out in Null Sec.

As always, I’ll insert my little disclaimer that I am not the end all, be all of this subject.   I do hope to give some sage advice as well as highlight some points of common sense.  Hopefully after reading the article you will feel a little more enlightened and embowered to venture out… and not loose your ass while doing it.

Vigilance is Your Friend.

Like many things, the best person to count on is yourself.  Then again, sometimes we are our own greatest enemy when it comes to protecting our assets.  Complacency and over confidence play a major part in players getting caught by AFK Cloakers.  The sad reality is that these losses are completely avoidable.  Keep your eyes and ears open and stay aware of your surroundings.  Don’t get lazy or fall in to patterns no matter how safe you feel.  These are the kind of behaviors that AFK Clokers look for and seize opportunity on.  Don’t let yourself become a kill board statistic. 

Use the Tools Available to You.

As a former alliance leader and a current member of a Null Sec alliance, I hear the same complaints all the times.  “Another in-game/ts/mumble/etc channel?  Don’t we have enough yet?”  Yes I understand that having 5 in-game intel channels, 2 TS3’s, 1 mumble, 4 Jabbers, 2 IRCs and a pigeon coup for messenger birds can be incredibly annoying, but… these tools will save your ship, your pod and your ego.  Not only do they offer you intel of surroundings areas as well as your immediate local, but they are also a venue you for you report intel and scream like a nub when you get tackled by an AFK Cloaker.  Vast communication options can be obnoxious, but they are essential to survival.

Here a Scout, There a Scout.

If you have a second account (or third, fourth, fifth) then there is no reason for you not to have a scout.  Scouts are one of the biggest life savers in EVE Online and soooo many people do not use them.  Blind jumping is the most terrible, stupid, brain thing you could ever do.  If you ever have the inclination to blind jump, just send me a convo and I’ll come blow you up myself with the added bonus of me stealing your crap and then mocking you while posting my Hello Kitty ACSII image in local.  Of course there are some situations where all you can do is blind jump… like not having any alts. 

If you do not have an alt, never fear.  There is a second option for you.  Make friends!  3 of 4 EVE Online players have alts.  If you’re nice to your corp and alliance mates, they might be nice enough to do some scouting for you.  Hell, they might even let you know some secret uber pocket where they’re stashed off and already have an alt.  Not being a douche to the people you fly with does have it’s advantages.

Location, Location, Location.

Where you choose to do your operations can either be a blessing or a curse.  Use tools like Dot Lan to find areas of operation that work for you.  I would recommend using the following guidelines:

• Stay near or in friendly space
• Find a single piped pocket where you can easily place a scout
• Avoid systems that connect constellations and regions
• Find systems that have low jump count and rat kills within a 24 hour period
• Avoid staging systems

That’s all I have for you at the moment New Eden.  I hope these few tips and things to remember will help you see a little less red on your killboard.  As an added bonus, a few weeks (maybe months) a go, I did an EVE Online: Question of the Day on Twitter.  The question was:

@Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

Needless to say I got some interesting responses.  So to close out this post, I’m going to leave with you some final thoughts gained from the combined wisdom and trolling of #TweetFleet

@ibrahas
@Arydanika As often as not I am the AFK cloaker. It is passive tear extraction. I smile at work knowing someone is crying at my afk alt.

@stevietopsiders
@Arydanika BattleRorq minmatar.co.uk/killboard/?a=k… #tweetfleet

@SharksInSpace
@Arydanika: Skiff with a point and friends. Transport ships (like the Mastadon) can also work for this bait. #tweetfleet #eveonline

@Ikeo58
@BuckyOhair @arydanika pt a drag bubble up 150 away from what your doing and carry on as normal or afk cloaky falcon #tweetfleet

@Khanhrhh
@Arydanika after living in WH space for a few months, you realise how pathetic AFK cloaker whine is and move on #tweetfleet

@BuckyOhair
I am the AFK cloaker MUHAHAHA RT @Arydanika: So I'm curious #TweetFleet How do you deal with AFK Cloakers when playing #EveOnline? #EOQoTD

@bel_amar
@Arydanika I live in a WH. I find complaints about AFK cloakers amusing. It's like people complaining that EVE is too hard for them #EOQoTD

@eclipticrift
@bel_amar @Arydanika I learned to abuse D-scan living in W-space. So until I see probes, I don't worry about them.

@rulesaremyenemy
@Arydanika Use killboards to find his active times and what he brings to the party (cyno bridging/cap drops), then set up a trap.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1

So after a month of doing everything else I could possibly think of, I’m here to unleash the second installment of the Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloaker Series.  What can I say?  I’ve been a busy lady over the past month, but that’s a different blog post.

In this article I’m going to zero in on three distinct types of AFK Cloakers and their tactics personally observed.  Now this is not the definitive article on AFK Cloakers by any means.  Still I hope that the article will help you, my darling reader, be more aware and knowledgeable on how to deal with these menaces to space society. 

--------------------

Mr. Snipe

The snipe is one of the more dangerous types of AFK Cloakers.  I refer to them snipes because they usually pick off one ship at time and then go back to be dormant.  Their tactics force them to rely on the complacency of system in habitants.  Of course this means that their kills are easily preventable.

Method of Operation:

They are the kind that suddenly appear in the system, go inactive and remain inactive for an undetermined amount of time.  What they are really doing is biding their time and waiting for the system inhabitants to go back to their normal routine of hauling or ratting.  When they find a suitable target; they will strike quickly only going for the one kill and then disengaging before assistance can arrive. 

Primary Ship Type:

T3’s, Cloaky Sabre

Primary Targets:

Single targets, usually hauling or PvE ships.

Where they attack:

Gates, Belts, Anomalies & Signatures

Party Animal

The Party Animal is the jackass of all AFK Cloakers.  As the name suggests, they enjoy the company of others and usually en masse.  In fact, they enjoy the company of others so much that they like to fit cynos and then hot drop the hell out of people.  The truly sad thing is that this tactic works… repeatedly.  How ever they are also usually the easiest to get away from due to the amount of things the AFK Cloaker needs to coordinate in order to achieve “op success.”

Method of Operation:

This AFK Cloaker looks not only for targets of opportunity, but also targets with a large pay off.  This is because they are not the only ones seeking a kill mail and they need to make sure the quarry is worth it for all involved.  These types will usually show themselves and attempt to get the intended target to aggress prior to lighting the cyno and jumping the rest of the fleet in. 

Primary Ship Type:

Anything that can fit a cloak and cyno, usually T3’s & Cov Ops

Primary Targets:

Single Targets of ‘Merit’ (ie ratting carriers/ faction battleships), Small and Medium Gangs

Where they Attack:

Gates, Repair Ops, Anomalies, Signatures, Safe Spots

Can-Can

Out of the three, The Can-Can is the most obnoxious.  This is the one that sits in local, cloaks and then proceeds to never shut the hell up.  At anytime you can find them sperging away with rants, personal taunts, porn links, ASCII code and anything else to cause disruption and gain attention.

Method of Operation:

This type of AFK Cloakers wants you to notice them, but probably not for the reasons you think.  Yes by making their presence known most hauling & PvE will end instantly, but this is not the main goal.  Each time they start ranting in local, they’re actually conditioning the system inhabitants.  They will start up and end around the same time and the pattern will repeat day after day.  That is until at some point in time, a time when they aren’t usually active, they find a nice juicy victim.  It’s usually the guy in TS saying, “Oh, they’re never around at this time” as he undocks his Nightmare.

Primary Ship Type:

T3’s and Cov Ops

Primary Targets:

Anything expensive

Where they Attack:

Anywhere

Hopefully this second installment of the Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers has given you a little more insight in to the subject as well as some things to think about.  Keep in mind that this article only covers 3 tactics and I’m positive there are more out there (especially since I thought of a few as I was writing the article).  For the rest of the articles in the series, check the link below.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

In a previous blog, The Little Noctis That Could, I touched on the subject of AFK Cloakers.  This is a subject that is every pilot in Null Sec is familiar with in one way or another.  Any pilot that has been in a particular area of space for any extended period time has been on the receiving end of the services of an AFK Cloaker.  Most experienced pilots with an alt, and even some without, have had the pleasure of being on the giving end. 

In this particular installment of the I Ain’t Givin’ You No Tree-Fitty Series, I’m going to discuss AFK Cloakers, Methods of Operation and Solutions which will be presenting in three different blog posts.  I might even throw in some more stories if I catch wind of something interesting.  Now this isn’t suppose to be an end all be all definitive report.  I’m not anyway near BOV status to rightful write those.  However, this blog will be an overview on the topic, a collection of my thoughts on the subject and should anyone leave comment it might even turn into a discussion.  Now before we get in to the heavy stuff, I’d like to lead off with a little humor.

AFK Cloakers are Literally The Herps

No.  I really mean it.  Follow me here.  One day you're minding your own business say scanning down sigs, mining or whatever gets you off.  You're having a good time and everything is going well.  Then all of a sudden, out from nowhere, they appear in local.  You don’t know where they came from.  You don't know how they got there.  To top it all off, it doesn't look like they're leaving and you’re stuck dealing with something you didn’t want in the first place. 

So you go back to your pals.  You ask a couple of hypotheticals.  They respond with how they really aren't qualified to answer, but personally they wouldn't screw around with that sort of thing.  Push comes to shove and you decided to wait it out a little bit putting you in a very comfortable situation. 

Then all of a sudden one day they're gone; poof just like it's freaking magic.  You figure you're in the clear and go back to doing what it you usually do.  Everyone’s having a good time again.  Everything's going well and you're enjoying yourself.  Then right in the middle of something really good... guess who decides to come rearing their fugly little head?

What is an AFK Cloaker?

The simplest definition that I can come up with is this: An AFK Cloaker is a pilot that enters in to a hostile system and stays cloaked up in space for an indefinite period of time in an effort to grief the system inhabitants.

As a whole, I consider AFK Cloakers to be a subset of the Exploration Profession.  While their main tactic and purpose are all the same, some employ different methods to ‘handle their business.’  When it comes to AFK Cloakers I’ve seen Nuisance Cloakers, Hot Drop Cloakers and Bait Cloakers.  There might be others out there, but these are the ones that appear prevalent.

Purpose in Flight

The AFK Cloaker’s purpose is to disrupt the activity in the enemy pocket while observing the activity of the hostiles and creating potential kill mails.  It is important to note that the order of goals. 

Primary: Disrupt activity

Secondary: Observe Enemy Activity

Tertiary: Potential Kills

Most tend to set their base of operations in heavily populated systems that boast a great deal of industrial activity.  It’s pretty easy for them to pick their targets using tools like DOTLAN.  They’ll find their target and research which systems are owned by the target.  Review the number of jumps in system and cross references that with statics for rat kills and mining levels.  Then volia, you can reasonably ascertain the best systems to set up shop.  Setting up in locations like these makes achieving the primary goal incredibly easy for the first few days.  Those inhabiting the system with instantly safe up or dock once they have intel of the hostile coming to the system or once they see the hostile in system with them. 

Once the AFK Cloaker is in system, they are easily able to observe the activity of the system inhabitants.  Most AFK Cloakers use either a T2 or T3 cloaking ship which enables them to warp freely with their cloaks on at all times.  Most will use their time to watch stations and gates and collect intel on POS’s.  They also have the means to gather intel on the system inhabitants activities like; typical roams/op deployment times and who flys what kinds of ships.

After a few days of being continually logged in system, human nature will start to take effect.  The system’s inhabitants will become complacent which is the WORSE thing anyone could do when dealing with an AFK Cloaker.  You’ll see or hear people in corp/alliance comms saying the AFK Cloaker hasn’t been active (but how do they really know since they’re cloaked?) or ‘they’re never on at this time because that player is so-and-so time zone or a plethora of other piss poor excuses why it’s okay to carry on as if it’s business as usual.  Right around this time someone will inevitably get hot dropped/caught in a belt/caught in an anomaly/ [insert other terrible reason to loose ship here]. 

Once a pilot (and those that rush out to help them only to be slaughtered like sausage sliding into a grinder) goes down to the AFK Cloaker, complacency will be replaced with vigilance.  At this point it becomes a wash, rinse and repeat cycle.  The only way the cycle usually ends is if someone mounts an actual offense against the AFK Cloaker to forcibly remove them from system or they just get bored and leave on their on accord.  The system inhabitants will regain solace and activity will pick up… until the next AFK Cloaker comes.

Features Working as Intended

Now there are some that feel this type of game play is unfair or unbalanced.  Like this pilot. Really it’s not.  All pilots have access to cloaking technology.  If a pilot trains the correct skills, anyone in game can have an account with AFK Cloaking ability.  There’s also the fact that cloaks are the solution to dealing with probes, so taking away cloaks would actually cause more imbalance.  There are also ways to combat AFK Cloakers, it just takes a lot of planning, hard work and effort.  These things make AFK Cloaking a viable play style option within Eve Online game mechanics.  If you don’t like it, you’ll probably have to leave Null Sec to get away from it as Null Sec was never meant to be 100% safe.

I should probably throw in a HTFU in here, too.

AFK Cloaker Series:

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Intro to AFK Cloakers

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: Meet the Cloakers Pt 1
I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: AFK Cloakers & Defenses

I Ain't Givin' You No Tree-Fitty: STFU

No seriously. STFU.

Keeping your mouth shut and your fingers still can be your best weapon again those engaging you in unwilling PvP or uPVP as I’ll call it. Cussing pilots out in local and posting scathing threads about evil-doers in the forums does not help your cause. In fact, it usually only makes your problems worse. How do I know? Some of my closest friends are the people you love to hate.

Allow me to introduce to you Wrecking Shots [WSHOT]. They are greifing, shit talking, mood killing, monocle demanding assholes, liers, scammers and nere-do-wells lead by a delightful CEO by the name of ‘I’m Hostile.’ They also happen one of my former corps and remain good friends of mine. Recently one of the pilots in the corp, esquimo leviticus, sent me this tweet keeping me up to date with the corps happenings:

#tweetfleet WSHOT love [Short Link] @Arydanika Your missing out on the monocles x

Now that you’ve read that; back to my main point… STFU.

Do note that I’m not trying to be mean or troll you, but I do want to be harsh if only to engrain this method of survival into your heads; STFU.

Often times when pilots lose a ship by means which they think are “unfair”, “uncouth”, non-epic pvpzors or whatever; they feel the need to tell the world about the offending party. The victims of these events will resort to posting in local or (like in this case) on the forums. What these victims parties usually is realize is that more often then not; the offending party doesn’t care. What worse is that your act of out-rage can possibly make your situation worse.

How do I know? Well, after weeks of mandatory overtime, some real life bad news and spending the last few days running around like a chicken with my head cut off; I decided that I would log in to EVE and have some fun. I cloned down to Gallante space, fitted up a pirating hurricane and joined these evil horrible people in Oulley to obliterate my sec status. I needed this. I really did and I had a freaking blast.

Blast #1
Blast #2

But Dani! How could you do such terrible things?

That mind frame right there is part of the problem. If it was a “terrible thing” it would be against EULA and those doing it would be hit with the ban hammer so hard they’d go cross-eyed. Yes it’s horribly rude and inconsiderate, it inconveniences pilots, it costs the offended party ISKies, but it’s also perfectly legitimate game play. Once “victims” recognize that then they can start to develop ways to combat this type of uPvP which brings us back to our main point. STFU.

WSHOT is enjoying their time in Oulley and I had a great time with them. We spent our time in TS3 laughing at the above mentioned forum post that others thought would serve to mock, troll and de-moralize them. I read Lord Ashur’s blog post that highlighted the threaded and added a few additional lulz and then decided to write one of my own about it. Then of course there was holding pods for monocle ransoms while spamming local with pedo-monocle bear and bouncing between gate perches trying to catch any poor bastard that picked those the wrong time jump though. They also taught me the finer points of surprise buttsecks and prepped me for the possibility of hulk gank should a fitting target be found.

Hopefully that description illustrates the point I’m making here. The cries in local, the flaming forum posts, the angry tweets and the mails of outrage that are frequently made by PvP offended parties have only made their zeal for this activity stronger. The behavior of the pilots being targeted only served make their blip on WSHOTS radar that much brighter and caused the targets on the sides of the ships to grow larger and sweeter. The wailing, moaning, protesting, calls for revenge, offers of white-knightery and gnashing of teeth only caused WSHOTs resolution to stay in Oulley and “kill everything that moves” to grow stronger.

Of course there is an exception to every rule. Everyone once in a while a pilot may feel a flush of embarrassment as they are public called out for “low brow tactics”, but most PvPers have no shame. Then there are cases of those that use their communication skills in this situation for a higher purpose. One of those exceptions happens to be a plucky little hulk pilot named Theos Cragen.

After getting ganked by a surprise horde of thrashers, he opened up a convo with one of the pilots. That pilot then invited the entire fleet, including me, into the convo to troll the guy. In the convo he explained that he was a new player to the game and that he spent all his ISK on that Hulk. He also said that he understand that it was part of the game and that he wanted to eventually join up with WSHOT once he had enough SP and ISK because he was interested in PvP. The guy still ended up get trolled and scammed out of 25 Mil*, but I provided him with an invite to the Project Halibut channel where he could get some help with a new Hulk. Plus, he did make a positive impression on the corp which may help him out down the line.

So I implore you pilots of New Eden. Please. For the love of your own sanity. STFU.

*Yes, he got scammed too. One of the WSHOT’s pilots told him that he could by back his corpse and if he salvaged it, he might get his implants back… poor fool. I’ll also mention that one of the WSHOT’s guys felt bad since he really had no ISK and sent the guy 5 Mil, which he ended up giving to the other WSHOT guy that scammed him. At least they tried right?

I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty: The Little Noctis That Could

I’ve decided to start the series off with a story as opposed to jumping right into the lecturing.  Personal victories are a very important thing in EVE Online.  Some victories are large like being able to fly a titan or landing a industrial kill that drops 9600 unit of Tech.  Other victories are smaller like finally completing that level five skill training or farming enough isk to get that monocle you’ve had your eye on.  Big or small personal victories are important because they have the opportunity foster moral for the pilot, breed excitement in others and they also give bloggers like me something to write about.

Last week a group of Split Infinity. pilots experienced a personal victory.  Their victory came by overcoming a problem that many null sec alliances deal with on a frequent basis.  AFK Cloakers.  When it comes to reader reactions to the phrase ‘AFK Cloaker’ I believe the break down is this:

The translation being; the recipients get greatly annoyed while the participants are greatly amused.  I’ve been on both sides of the coin, so make of that what you will.  Now there are those in the 20% category and for you there is a brief explanation of what an AFK Cloaker is at the end of the post.

Tu Ko of Legio Geminatus, Gentleman’s Agreement happens to be the in-system ‘guest’ for this particular story.  Their ship of choice was a Purifier complete with damps, a warp disrupter and torps with a little Manticore on the side.  Ouch.  Tu Ko did experience some early success and was able to take a Noctis and a Hulk during their stay.  The tide would turn however.

A day after the two kills, S1. pilots realized that attitude and behavior towards the unwanted guest had to change if they wanted to go back to their normal in-pocket ventures.  The pilots got together and formed a strategy to remove our previously mentioned ‘guest.’ They already had an expected behavior pattern for the AFK Cloaker as his targets were poorly defended, lone industrial ships and so they set their minds to the task of luring him out and given him a one way ticket home via the pod express. 

One tanked out Noctis later they had their trap set.  How exactly do you tank out a Noctis?  I really can’t tell you that since we might have to use the tactic against you some day.  Not all intel is available intel after all.  Once the Noctis was positioned in a Haven they played the waiting game while the support fleet of 2 strategic cruisers, a stealth bomber and a command ship laid in wait. 

After a while opportunity came and the plan was sprung into action.  As expected the purifier warped in with damps, the disruptor and torps at full blast.  The support fleet would reveal itself soon after and the same treatment was extended to Tu Ko.  Within moments the Purifier was down, but the pod unfortunately escaped.  The Noctis did survive. 

Now I expect that this story will some become one of those EVE Online Urban Legends one day at least in a local sense.  I caught wind of it the day of and heard the Noctis pilot weave a tale including guns in the highs and having complete faith in his fleet counter parts.  Now.. I don’t see the Notics on the kill mail, but the Purifier did have damps so that could have something to do with it.  A little bird also told me that the Notics pilot was on the verge of crapping his pants from the moment the Purifier started shooting until it exploded.  That’s all hearsay though.

One thing is certain.  The Little Noctis That Could brought a huge moral boost to S1. troops.  The story will be repeated over and over to any ear willing to listen.  The spark of PvP will jump from pilot to pilot causing a rise in fleet participation.  Within the pocket; the S1. way of life will continue business as usual with spirits high.  That is.. until the next AFK Cloaker comes. 

Explanation:

An AFK cloaker is just what it sounds like.  A person will enter into highly populated enemy system using a ship with covert op capability (stealth bomber, strategic cruiser, etc) and remained in space cloaked up.  The AFK Cloaker will stay logged almost continuously though a period of days.  During this period two things will happen: the moral of the system inhabitants will drop due to actives such as logistics, industry and ratting coming to a halt and eventually when there are no kills during the initial waiting period the system inhabitants will become complacent in their situation.  This is the point where the AFK Cloaker will strike and begin attacking targets of opportunity.  More details about all of that will follow in a later blog post.  

Kill Mail Links:

Noctis

Hulk

Purifier

I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty: Introduction

Season 3 Episode 3 of the South Park series titled “The Succubus” contains a story told by Chef’s parents about the Loch Ness Monster.  In the story, the Loch Ness Monster appears to Chef’s parents while they are on a boat and requests three dollars and fifty cents.  Chef’s father tells the Monster to “get his own god damned money” while Chef’s mother gives him a dollar.  Chef’s father goes on to comment, “Well, of course he's not gonna go away, Mary! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you've got more!”

Now I know what you’re thinking.  What the hell does this have to do with EVE Online or spaceships?  Allow me to make the connection.  All too often pilots in EVE give the Loch Ness Monster a dollar.  Exchange the phrase ‘the Loch Ness Monster’ with ‘griefers’ and ‘a dollar’ with ‘free kills’ and you’ll start to see where I’m going with this. 

This phenomenon in EVE Online goes by many different names and effects a wide variety of players and activities.  I’ve heard it referred to as “feeding the fat kids candy”, “being a nub” and even some phrases that get a little vulgar.  It can effect the flow of logistics, industry, missioning and in some rare and specific cases pvp as well.  Still the under laying concept is the same no matter what label you stick on it or the situation that occurs.  Easy kills will draw in the enemy and give them a reason to stick around.

So now we get to the crux of the matter.  What can be done to prevent easy kills?  Are there specific examples of situations and behaviors that allow for easy kills to happen more frequently?  What are some of theories and techniques other pilots use to avoid giving easy kills?  Once the shame spiral of easy kills start; how and when does it stop?   So when do I get to all that good stuff? 

The short answer is: later.  The responses to the above questions will come in a series I’m calling “I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty.”  I’m considering the series to be a “life style guide” because the discussion and theory crafting will be based on changing attitudes, habits and perceptions in order to increase the life expectancy of your current vessel and your clone. 

I’m looking forward to writing the series and I’m also looking forward to feedback as the series progresses.  I already have ideas on content and plan to have a couple of pieces written and published shortly. 

Ciao for now♥